How to Get Over Your Ex (Fast)

So you feel like your heart has been ripped up into a billion little pieces. I get it. Your emotions range from anger to complete and utter longing for that person.

Breakups are messy and painful. It doesn't matter if you were on one side or the other. It stings. Unless, of course, you had no feelings for that person to begin with.

We traditionally look at breakups as a loss. A loss of love. A loss of companionship. A loss of an amazingly perfect future. And yet we actually GAIN so many things when we breakup with a person. So I'm here to flip the switch on you and help you see why getting rid of your ex might be one of the best things you've ever done.

Little story time: I dated a guy for three years long distance. He was my first love. My first time. Basically my first everything. I had never felt those feelings for anyone else. (Isn't that what we all say?) To cut to the chase, he was B.A.D. for me. For all the ways I thought he was right for me, there was something opposing that told me he was most certainly not. How did I get over him so fast? Keep reading to find out.

There are four major keys to getting over your ex (fast).

1. Make the list.

I want you to drop what you are doing right now and take out your notebook or go to the notes section in your phone (even better because it's with you wherever you go) and write down EVERY SINGLE little thing that annoyed you or reason that your ex was not good for you. It could be something like this: He was always on his phone, he cheated on me, he didn't prioritize spending time with me, he didn't plan for a future with us, he was rude, disorganized... you get the picture. Do this right now! One... two... three... GO! This list was a saving grace for helping me get over my ex. If you're really struggling to think of things because you're still in denial, leave this task up to your closest friends or even family. Have them make the list. Then READ IT constantly. Whenever you get a thought about your ex, read the list. The fact of the matter is, yes we had good times with our ex and we were attracted to them for a reason, but that doesn't mean that they were right for us. There's a reason why you broke up. Ground yourself with this list and use it to your advantage to get over your ex 10 times faster.

2. Block. Delete. Unfriend.

This method really works. Think about it, the more you see, interact or have contact with someone, the more they are on your mind and in your current pathway of thoughts. When you breakup with someone, the last thing you may want to do is erase them from your life because you don't want them to forget about you. However, completely taking them out of your life (if you are able to and don't have obligations with them) will be a healthy barrier that will protect you from a late night text, a message that tugs at your heart strings, seeing them with another person, or your own temptations to reach out and "see how they're doing." The fact of the matter is that this person was in your life for a season of time, but they don't belong in your future. Keeping them close, especially after a hard breakup, will hinder your process of moving forward. Trust me on this one. Protect yourself by getting them out of sight and out of mind. Don't worry about how they feel about your actions, they are not part of your future and they will be fine as will you.

3. Avoid certain songs.

You know, the song that you had your first dance or your first kiss. The song that made you think of their smile or a steamy night of romance with that person. Songs can stir up a lot of feelings and memories and no matter how "over" your ex you feel, a simple song could put you back in a spiral of emotions. Do yourself a favor and avoid those specific songs (or sad love songs in general) until you feel FULLY recovered from your ex. In contrast, sometimes creating a breakup playlist with angry songs can actually be therapeutic, as well as hardcore gangsta rap.

4. Time heals all.

This last step is simply to let the time pass between the breakup with your ex and your new life on you own. Time will heal all. Before you know it, doing the steps above, months will pass and you will wake up one day saying "wow I really got through that." It will be a great feeling if you stick it out and follow my advice. You must become your own advocate in your healing process. Be patient. If you have a day where you slip, feel like you backtracked or generally feel like an emotional wreck don't sweat it. We're humans. Reach out to a friend or a family member. Give yourself a nice hot bath. Go for a run. Just keep living life YOUR way. It'll feel weird at first, but before you know it, you'll be free from those awful breakup feelings and be moving forward to brand new experiences and happiness.

I hope this post was helpful for any of my guy or lady friends who are going through a breakup. I'm with you. I feel you and hear you. But you're not alone. You deserve better than the one that left you, hurt you or broke you. Don't forget that.