How to Handle the Most Dangerous Emotional Drug Known to Mankind

Have you ever found yourself becoming addicted to love? Or feeling lost in love?

Does it feel like you've come to the point where you literally feel like you are drowning?

This is because love is the strongest emotion that we all possess and it has the ability to make us feel like we need it, so we lose ourselves by trying to hold on to it even when we know it's bad for us and not serving our greater good.

This happens more so when we are with someone who doesn't value us or our time like we do theirs. You will find this to be true if you are dealing with a class act narcissist.

How do you know if they are narcissistic?

Well, for one they will definitely lack empathy and no matter how often they're wrong in a heated argument it's never their fault. They'll almost always push the blame on you.

Some of you may be thinking that this sounds familiar and can definitely be your current situation, but still need a little clarity to be completely sure if you're dealing with a narcissist.

Narcissists are defined as having no empathy at all and no problem showing you.

Consequently, there are some telltale signs that will show you just what you need to know while pointing out the common red flags that most people tend to block out and refuse to see until it's too late.

Narcissists woo you in the beginning.

Narcissists are exceptional actors great at performing like the perfect suitor of your dreams in the beginning.

They agree with everything that you want only to do a complete 360 once they've captured your heart and soul.

Many people are mesmerized by their fake charm because they are very good at fooling people.

If you've never been involved with a narcissist it's impossible to even fathom or imagine the psychological damage that they can do to someone.

Hold true to total no contact if you can. Once they see you have moved on they will lurk and linger trying to bait you.

They are like parasitic predators waiting to suck all your energy out of you.

If a narcissist lacks empathy, how are they able to pull you into their tangled web repeatedly even after you've convinced yourself that you are done?

When being in love means suffering through abuse.

They like those who are givers and pretty much have an agenda that involves hooking you on their bait trap just like a fish.

Signs of a narcissist:

• They are never wrong
• They lack empathy
• They always switch the blame to you
• They make you think you're crazy
• Often manipulative and full of themselves
• They are argumentative and never understand anything. Ever.

There are times when they disappear for days, weeks, or months only to be with their new target, and when it doesn't work out they often come back to you apologizing and reiterating how they've changed and are never going to do whatever they did to you a hundred times before again.

The most important number one lesson is to not make this experience become a part of you and end up as baggage weighing on your shoulders because it will hold you down as long as you don't find the courage and strength to release it.

This will simply require you leaving. You've got this. Fear of trying only makes the act of leaving much harder.

Just do it now. The damage is done, the longer you stay the more you will potentially suffer!

Losing Yourself in False Love

In a relationship the narcissist never truly loves their partner because he/she doesn't even love themself, therefore making them incapable of reciprocating emotions to you and having your emotional needs met.

If you feel like you're drowning you must love yourself enough to want to come up for air or risk not surviving on the account of putting your best interest first.

Anytime you start to feel bad, sad, less than or question yourself whether or not you've made a good decision ask yourself, "Am I worth the pain they cause?" Just think back five or ten instances they royally messed up and hug yourself knowing you dodged a bullet. That should do the trick. Then hug yourself again knowing that this traumatic experience taught you a valuable lesson and nothing more.

Otherwise, it will be a long, strenuous healing process that will take some time getting over.

Things you do when you're with a narcissist:

• You develop low self-esteem
• You tend to make quite a lot of excuses for their callous behavior
• You try to convince others of how great they are by only pointing out their good qualities (which proves they really aren't)
• You ignore friends and family who are warning you of what they see in them that you are blinded by
• You become someone else and you don't like it
• You suffer abuse (mentally, emotionally or physically)
• You stay and endure their behavior because you want to help/fix them
• You lose sight of your hopes and dreams

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My Narcissist/Psychopath Story

He was very good looking, even charming, and appeared to have it all together. At least that's how it seemed.

At first, he made me feel good and told me how beautiful I was.

My self-confidence with boys and men had always been quite low. People told me that I was pretty, but I didn’t believe them.

We never went out in public on dates or hung out with family or friends. I didn't get introduced to any of them. I was okay with the mediocre treatment and I thought just being in his presence was enough. I began to wonder if his past exes had the same treatment.

He never took any responsibility for his last relationship, all the blame was put on her and he says he didn't trust anyone because they always leave him. Not once did I ask if he did anything to make her leave. This allowed me to take his side fully without knowing the other side.

After three years of a crazy rollercoaster experience and his out of control behavior, I slowly began to realize that I was living without being present in my body or mind. He broke up with me out if the blue. I was so used to this as it was a reoccurring thing that he would do every few months. But I didn't think this time it was for real.

Months went by and then came the event that blew me out of the water. A friend shared a photo on Facebook of them all out for an event I hadn’t been invited to.

He was there with his arm around a girl and the next photo was of them kissing. I suddenly knew what I had tried not to believe, he had someone else.

For months after I returned home to my parents, I was miserable. I felt ugly and worthless because he had dumped me for someone else. After a few days, I began to feel very unhappy until one day I broke down in tears and realized I was suffering with depression. I met a therapist and began talking to her about what I've been feeling in regards to my relationship.

She helped me understand that it wasn’t me who had a problem. She described him as a “narcissist”. I learned that apparently, their whole focus in their lives is about them.

Even their explanations for failure in any aspect of their lives can be blamed on others or bad luck. They can justify their behaviors and believe it too.

She said he represents classic signs of narcissism: self-centeredness, justifications for his behavior, and his “love bombs” which made me feel so good and which I missed with all my heart.

Its been four months and I am getting better every day because of my awesome PTSD Life Coach. Our weekly calls have helped me to gain self-love, self-worth, and confidence to open my heart to real love.

My advice to anyone reading this who thinks that their relationship is anything like the one described here is run, you can’t change them. Seek help by taking a course get guidance from a professional, especially an empathic person who understands empathy.

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