Relationships can end for a variety of reasons. They can end because of something as painful as a betrayal, to something as understanding as depression. Sometimes people need to go their own path. The truth is that relationships ending will hurt... and it will hurt both parties. However, that doesn't mean that both parties can't be respectful and try to keep the peace. There are ways to ease the pain and help the transition and this article will discuss some ways to do that.
My Story
I seem to take breakups pretty hard. Every time I go through something difficult in my life, I seem to build a whole new identity after. I have no idea if this is normal, but I am quite certain that it is a direct result of having my house burn down when I was younger. All of my memories, childhood toys and so many things that I used to build my identity. They were all suddenly gone all at once. Not only me, but my entire family was forced to build a new life. This is why breakups mean so much to me. It's about finding my new identity, getting to know this new me. The older and more mature me apparently.
Don't break up by text.
The truth is that I am a hypocrite for this one. I know it is tempting and seems so much easier... but you owe the other person more respect than that. Please don't insult all the memories you have with them by ending it with text. Please be a better person that I am.
Don't be heartless.
A young woman at work told me it would be best to cut off my partner completely from all communication. She claimed that it would be better to help him heal. DO NOT DO THIS! I'm sure there are some breakups where completely ending all communication might be for the best, but most of them aren't. Don't get me wrong, if they were abusive (emotionally or physically) then, by all means, cut them out of your life. However, please do not think that you have to do this. Cutting someone out of your life completely really hurts, and the pain lingers for a while. There's something about hearing your ex's voice again after a break up that feels so familiar and brings a whole bunch of emotions. Please don't take that away from them. Even after that phone call, still be friends.
Be friends.
It shows a lot of maturit to be friends after a break-up, not everyone has the opportunity to be friends with their ex for a wild variety of reasons. However, if you do have the opportunity. Please take it.
I knew someone who's girlfriend came out of their closest while they were dating. While it hurt both sides that they realized the romantic relationship couldn't work, they are still great friends to this day. While she was travelling the world to find herself they still send Facebook messages to each other every day to talk about what they have encountered in life. Later they went on their own trip together.
This isn't necessarily the end.
I am hesitant to say this because this advice isn't for everyone ... but when I was younger and I had a brutal break-up, it made me feel a lot better to be told this. Things change a lot and your paths might cross again in the future. You have no idea what the future holds, so it really isn't impossible. With that said, maybe don't obsess over it. You have a path to walk too and your own journey to find. You can even go on an adventure to find yourself too.
However, the guy I was told this about (a boyfriend from high school), really ended up being someone that I would never want my path to cross over with his again... So like I said, this advice isn't for everyone. I know I said this already, but if your ex was abusive, it is OK to cut them off.
Just know that no matter what happens and no matter what you are feeling right now... everything is going to be OK.
It's OK to cry.
I really wish I could say that I am immune to pain and that I never cry. I really wish that I could skip all the parts in life that make me feel this way... but I cry. It gives me a headache and it puffs up my face at work the next day. I try to avoid mirrors, but people can see that my face is puffy and I know from the way they are treating me that my face must look like I have some sort of allergic reaction.
Despite all this, apparently crying is good for you. I certainly feel better crying with others than alone. Sometimes I feel a release after; sometimes I don't. Even if crying wasn't healthy, it's OK to cry. You can allow yourself to cry. I promise you that it doesn't make you weak or anything like that. It is a part of life.
The pain goes away, I promise.
I know you will never believe me while you are actually feeling the pain... but the pain will eventually pass. Then, after the pain passes, you will eventually forget what the pain even felt like. It might take a while, but I promise that this too will pass.
In the meantime, maybe one drink won't hurt... just don't make it a habit.
Famous Quotes About Breakups
"Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all."
—Alfred Tennyson
"No relationship is ever a waste of your time."
—Unknown
"Stars can't shine without darkness."
—Kris Menace
“Even on my weakest days, I get a little bit stronger.”
—Sarah Evans
“I’m thankful for my struggle because without it I wouldn’t have stumbled across my strength.”
—Alex Elle
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I added a few links to some of my other work. Please feel free to check it out.
About the Creator
Nancy D
Facebook @NancyDBlogging
Twitter @BlogsNancy
Hidden Happiness
The world in which we live, is constantly changing, and this applies even more so in these days in which we live. With the implementation of AI into the workplace, people are beginning to fear for their jobs. With the rumors of wars circulating across the globe people are falling into fearful states, that are spurred on by changes, the likes of which we have never in human history, experienced before.
By Kaylon Forsyth6 days ago in Humans
"Shores of Peacefulness: A Day of Rapture at the Ocean side"
The sun rose into the great beyond, projecting a brilliant gleam across the serene waters of the sea. Seagulls took off above, their cries reverberating through the pungent air as the delicate beat of the waves lapped against the sandy shore. It was an ideal day at the ocean side, and for Emily and her family, it guaranteed vast experiences and loved recollections. As they showed up at the ocean side, Emily's heart expanded with energy. She could scarcely hold on to feel the warm sand between her toes and the cool sea breeze all over. With a screech of pleasure, she ran towards the water, her giggling dragging along her like a strip in the breeze. The ocean side was buzzing with movement, as families and companions accumulated to partake in the daylight and the ocean. Youngsters constructed transcending sandcastles, their minds roaming free as they etched turrets and channels with their small hands. Couples walked connected at the hip along the coastline, lost in murmured discussions and sneaked kisses. Also, surfers rode the peaking waves, their chuckling blending with the thunder of the sea. For Emily, the ocean side was a jungle gym of vast potential outcomes. She went through the early daytime sprinkling in the waves, feeling the pungent shower on her skin as she moved in the midst of the surf. She gathered shells along the shore, wondering about their mind boggling shapes and lively varieties. Furthermore, she covered her feet in the warm sand, feeling the earth underneath her toes as she delighted in the basic delight of being alive. In any case, the genuine wizardry of the ocean side woke up in the early evening, as the sun plunged low overhead and the world was washed in a delicate, brilliant light. Emily's family assembled around a popping huge fire, their countenances enlightened by the gleaming flares as they simmered marshmallows and shared stories underneath the stars. As the fire snapped and popped, Emily felt a feeling of harmony wash over her — a sensation of having a place and happiness that she knew must be found at the ocean side. Here, in the midst of the excellence of nature and the glow of friends and family, she felt really alive, her heart spilling over with appreciation for the basic joys of life. As the night wore on and the stars sparkled above, Emily and her family clustered together, enveloped by covers and loaded up with the glow of the fire. They giggled and sang, their voices ascending into the night sky like a chorale of heavenly messengers as they praised the magnificence of the ocean side and the delight of being together. Also, as the fire consumed low and the last coals blurred into the haziness, Emily realize that she would convey the sorcery of this day with her until the end of time. For in the core of the ocean side, in the midst of the sand and the ocean and the stars, she had tracked down a piece of herself — a piece that would continuously have a place with the sea, and to the vast undertakings that looked for her on its shores. As the night extended, the ocean side took on an otherworldly quality, the twilight moving on the waves like a gleaming cover of silver. Emily and her family waited by the fire, sharing stories and chuckling long into the evening. The delicate sound of the sea filled in as a mitigating setting to their discussions, its musical rhythm calming them into a condition of quiet happiness. As they at long last advanced back to their ocean side house, Emily felt a feeling of significant appreciation wash over her. The day at the ocean side had been all that she had expected and the sky is the limit from there — a day loaded up with giggling, love, and remarkable minutes imparted to individuals she treasured most. As she floated off to rest that evening, the waves reverberating in her ears, Emily realize that she would convey the memory of this day with her generally. For in the excellence of the ocean side and the glow of her family's affection, she had found where her heart could really find a sense of contentment — where each second was loaded up with wizardry, and consistently was a gift to be enjoyed.
By Nameless writer4 days ago in Humans
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