Humans is powered by Vocal creators. You support Paisley Hansen by reading, sharing and tipping stories... more

Humans is powered by Vocal.
Vocal is a platform that provides storytelling tools and engaged communities for writers, musicians, filmmakers, podcasters, and other creators to get discovered and fund their creativity.

How does Vocal work?
Creators share their stories on Vocal’s communities. In return, creators earn money when they are tipped and when their stories are read.

How do I join Vocal?
Vocal welcomes creators of all shapes and sizes. Join for free and start creating.

To learn more about Vocal, visit our resources.

Show less

How to Heal After a Bad Relationship

Most people don't realize how bad a bad relationship can be. Here are tips to reconquer your life.

How bad is a bad relationship? You may not even realize your relationship was bad until you are out of it and looking back on it. Bad relationships can come in all shapes and sizes, and they will not all look the same.

Abuse is abuse, and it is never acceptable under any circumstance. There is physical, spiritual, emotional, and mental abuse. Gaslighting and manipulation are also common in bad relationships and can do serious damage.

If you think that you were in a bad relationship, you will need time to heal. Here are five things you can do to heal yourself and find relief:

No Contact

This is probably the hardest thing to do after a bad relationship. No contact means absolutely no contact. Why is this step necessary? Because this is the fastest way to heal and move on with your life. If you are dealing with a narcissist or someone who has an addictive personality, then this step is essential to your healing.

No contact means no texting, no hanging out, and it also includes unfollowing or blocking them on social media. This can seem extreme, but it is really the best way to move on. This is for your own good, and it will help you become stronger and feel like yourself again.

Get Professional Help

You are not alone in your journey and there are professionals who have helped people heal in the past, and will help you heal and give you guidance in your journey.

If you were dealing with an addict, then you might be suffering from betrayal trauma and there are specific therapists who deal with this trauma. With the right, specified kind of help, you can heal fully and relax knowing that someone understands what you are going through.

Give It Time

This can sound so cliche and may not seem like great advice, but it really does come in handy. If you are working hard, going to therapy, and surrendering your resentment, you will heal. But healing does not happen overnight and can be extremely painful and hard at times.

The best thing you can do for yourself is to be patient with yourself. Do not focus on whoever you had a bad relationship with. Do not compare yourself to them. Stick to yourself and your own recovery, and find peace and joy in your life again.

Grieve and Make Peace

You can’t control other people and the choices that they make. But you can control yourself and the actions that you make. You will not be able to fix everything in a bad relationship, and it may not survive. You can grieve the loss of your relationship and the dreams that you had for the two of you. This is a hard process and will take time. You can visit and look at the work of Dr. John Layke and see what he is doing for women to make peace with what has happened to them from bad relationships.

Take Responsibility

Maybe the person who you were in the relationship with did some really bad things to you. They may have even lied about you to their friends and family, making you seem like the person in the wrong. This can leave you feeling like there isn’t any justice in the world if the other person runs off and lives their life.

But you are in charge of your own healing. This means that you will have to put in a lot of work to heal so you can find peace in your life again. There are 12-step groups for those who are victims of rape or for those in bad relationships. They provide support and healing for those who come and work the program. Not all 12-step groups are the same, so choose the right one for you.

Even though the bad relationship may not have been completely your fault, it is up to you to heal and move on with your life. What are some ways that you take care of yourself and work your own healing?

Now Reading
How to Heal After a Bad Relationship
Read Next
A Thank You to All My Friends