How to Keep a Long Distance Relationship

Ok, you have just accepted that dream job in another city, and now you want to know if a long distance relationship can work, because the most important thing you are leaving behind is your partner. Yet, dating long distance can heat up your relationship as a couple or even with your life partner. Why? Because absence absolutely does make the heart grow fonder. I am living proof that it can work. Just follow the simple steps below to learn how to keep a long distance relationship red hot.

Physical distance may feel intimidating at first, and there are times you may question how to continue sharing your life with your partner. Fortunately, in this digital age, you can have dates, and even visits that are meaningful and that bring you closer despite being at a distance.

When my now husband and I were dating, we lived in separate, distant cities. Our desire for each other increased the longer we were separated and we committed to plenty of visits, times together, and lots of sharing even though we were long distance. In fact, while we saw other couples who lived in the same area taking each other for granted at times, we never had that luxury.

Love Letters via Email

First, we committed to sending hot and heavy emails daily. Sending this type of romantic e-letter is often disregarded when a couple lives in the same city, and sees each other often. Text messages should be sent too, but there is something about a letter with a signature, and with loving words that a text cannot provide.

In these letters, we would include personal details of our lives, express our feelings, and sharing our every day life with each other. As we were missing each other more and more, the letters heated up quite a bit and sent tingles down my spine. I have kept a file of these emails long after we reunited, because I really believe they cemented our feelings for each other as a couple.

Attach photos to both emails, and texts. Not just selfies, and not the kind of thing you would share on social media, but fragments of you and your life.

Face Time Conversations Daily

Second, face time phone conversations daily are so important to keeping the long distance relationship working. You must make that eye contact daily even if it is not in person. Your feelings will show on your face and with your body language: whether it was a good or bad day; whether your are missing each other, all of this will be on full display to share with your partner. Make the time commitment for this each and every day, no matter what time of day, no matter how hectic your life becomes. Face contact is so important with the distance between you. Memorize each other's face during these times so you can visualize the other when you disconnect.

Cards and Mail

Although it seems archaic, snail mail can be a thrill in a long distance relationship. Cards and notes can be sent, and imagine the smile on the person on the receiving end as they collect their mail and see something from you.

Send Treats and Flowers

It doesn't have to be expensive, but treat your partner to a gift from Amazon, or another retailer to let them know you are thinking of them. Send flowers too. The visual of those flowers sitting at home will feel so personal and remind of your special relationship even if it is from afar.

Video Chats and Dates

Skyping or video chatting regularly helps enormously and keeps you close between visits. You can date this way, spend an evening together, and even watch a movie together using this technique. My husband and I did this often, and others would tease us for having long distance dates, but that is how we prioritized our relationship.

As goofy as it might sound, dating via video keeps you absolutely connected on a romantic level. This is critical in maintaining a long distance relationship. Imagine the following: you get home from work, and you want a glass of wine to unwind. Video chat that glass of wine time, sharing that relaxed time with your partner. You will notice that you will still feel like a couple when you do things like this together.

About movies: when visiting movies in person, you cannot chat with your date. Here is a great way to connect over a two hour period of time, discussing the movie, the plot points, the relationships in it, and anything else that strikes your fancy. Laugh together at funny movies. This will keep you closely connected, and it will keep you believing you have a valid and solid relationship and that you are still very much a couple. Home movies are a fun way of sharing your time and to keep dating even though it is long distance.

In-Person Visits

By now you have done all the above, and you are absolutely physically craving that partner from your long distance relationship. The next priority in keeping your life as a couple are in-person visits. Don't make budget, or time, or work excuses, because human touch is absolutely necessary to keep sharing intimate feelings for one another.

You will feel that rush of excitement every single time you fall into one another's arms after some time away. It keeps the relationship fresh and exciting. In fact, true story, a friend saw us in a wine bar after some time apart long distance, and we could not keep our hands off each other. The friend said, "Get a room, will you?" Now that's romance!

It's best to take turns visiting each other's places, so that each partner gets to see life as it is on each end. Make sure to plan these for when there is a lot of quality time to be had together, not when a work deadline is looming. Sometimes make the visit a mutual long-weekend vacation in another spot altogether. Oh and yes, vacation together as often as possible!

To sum it up, how to keep a long distance relationship going strong? Make your time with your loved one a priority at all times, and connect as a couple as much and as often as possible. It may take more a bit more effort, but if the relationship is important enough, it's worth it.