How to Keep a Strong Marriage

In the years of self help books, magazines and shows we still find ourselves more in need of help. One tip is ditch those books on how to save your marriage. They will not help you. They will only pull you further away from your spouse since your nose will be stuck in it instead of focusing on your person.

I have been through so many ups and downs with my husband that everyday we are still together and strong is a complete blessing.

In order for your marriage you flourish you have to always make sure you two are on the same page. If you're in a rough spot you need to communicate more. This is the hardest thing and where most marriages fall apart. Do not for the life of you talk about your marriage with anyone other than your spouse or a marriage counselor. Your marriage is that, your marriage to your spouse. The moment you let someone else in is when things could get worse. This is how affairs happen. Simple as talking to someone else about you marriage "flaws" opens that door. Keep the door SHUT.

1. Communication with your spouse.

Never discuss your marriage "flaws" with an outside person. Your marriage concerns need to be discussed with your spouse.

I am going to expand a little bit about communication throughout this article. Open dialogue is the most important thing to have in your marriage. You need to be able to talk to your spouse about what is bothering you. A very wise man told me the things I needed to know about marriage just before I was about to say "I Do" to his Grandson. He was absolutely right and we live on those words, and I want to share those with you all.

2. Never go to bed angry.

If you had a disagreement with your spouse always make sure it is resolved before you go to sleep. You both should feel equally as bad that you're in a disagreement. Always sleep in your bed. No one should ever have to sleep on a couch or in the guest bedroom.

Marriage is hard do not let anyone fool you into believing that is isn't. You have to work on it daily for it to keep going forward. Think about your marriage as a gear. You are one gear being your own person and your spouse is their own. Your marriage is a cog in-between both gears. When you're on the same page and communicating your able to spin that cog like no one's business. The moment your communication stops the moment the whole cog and gear assembly stops. You both will be going through the motions thinking everything is okay, but you forgot to talk to each other. Communication is a simple as asking how work went and actually engaging in the conversation. Actually care about how their day of work went.

3. Always play together.

Never lose the fun in your marriage. This was the biggest thing my husband's Grandpa explained.

What I think he truly meant was always keep it fun. Do not be afraid to joke because laughter in your marriage is one of the biggest things. You may have a house to take care of and children to tend to, but never forget to play.

If you're able to put those three things into motion you should be okay. You both however need to be on the same page which goes back to communicate. You shouldn't ever have large pent up arguments if you communicate and never go to bed angry. The reason why I didn't outline love is because if you do all three things love is there. You love your person enough to communicate, you love them to never go to sleep angry and you love them when you allow light-hearted play in. Everyone loves differently and telling you how to is where the self help books are going wrong.

Love your person how you know how to love.