How To Make Friends In Your 20s

It’s okay to admit it.

You want to build new friendships but are unsure of how. Find solace in knowing you are not alone. There are millions of others like you who find themselves feeling the same way but are embarrassed to share it. There is a societal expectation that by the time we reach our twenties we have already established our lifelong friendships. That is the case for some but certainly not all. Relationships evolve, some fade, and others never have a chance at developing. We all have our unique means of connecting to others and they require some of us more time to craft healthy, fulfilling friendships.

The exciting news is that it’s still possible to create those connections. There is no expiration date on your ability to network and socialize. However, circumstances are slightly different in navigating the social scene at sixteen and twenty-three (-four, -five, six, etc.).

Here are 6 tips to help you step out and find the friends you’re looking for!

Reflect on the type of friend you’re seeking.

This may seem trivial but it’s actually quite important and will save you stress further down the line. Are you looking for someone to occasionally grab dinner and drinks with? Go clubbing? A travel buddy? Or perhaps a friend with benefits? (C’mon, be honest with yourself). Knowing the type of relationship you’re seeking beforehand avoids any future misunderstandings and miscommunication. It ensures that you and your counterpart(s) are on the same page.

Get out and do the things you love.

No one is going to find you in your bed at home. Get outside! For those of us who are introverts and find ourselves craving friendship this can be a difficult step but it’s practical. It doesn’t require you to become a party animal if that’s not your scene. Do the things that you enjoy. If you love art, hit up a few museums. If fitness is your thing, stop by the gym a few times per week. More than likely you will meet someone in doing so and a shared interest is the perfect start to any great relationship.

Respect boundaries and lifestyles.

Here is where developing friendships in your twenties differs from doing so in your teens. People have developed full lives. Careers, families, professional obligations, and so on. Time is limited so as a potential new friend you want to respect that. Understand how to give others space; clinginess can be a serious turnoff. Finally finding someone you connect with can be very exciting but be mindful of boundaries you may be crossing.

Express genuine interest.

Everyone enjoys feeling wanted. We all like to feel that others are interested in us and care about the same things we care about. Show it. Engage with your peers in the unique hobbies they enjoy, discuss their favorite topics, and share your own ideas. This expresses to them that you’re authentically attempting to create a friendship and is certain to be appreciated.

Be who you need.

In order to have a friend you must first be a friend. If you are in need of a confidante, be that to your companion. If you need a shoulder to cry on from time to time, offer that. Anyone worth your time will mirror those affections and offer of themselves back to you in equal value.

Know your worth.

This is often said in regards to romantic relationships but the same can be applied here. Creating lasting connections can be challenging but do not ever feel compelled to tolerate toxicity for the sake of company. If a person is inconsiderate or drama filled, don’t hesitate to put an immediate end to the relationship. You’re just seeking new friends; you’re not desperate. You would be much happier alone in peace than in the company of someone you secretly resent.

This is only the beginning to crafting new, healthy friendships. There are several things to keep in mind as millennials but these are the vital six. Be mindful of them as you navigate our complex social world and try to find similar souls. Wishing you the best in your searching!