If you're struggling to find a suitable partner, or if you keep attracting the same types of people that just aren't right for you, then it's time to take a big step back and go within. Oftentimes our subconscious mind has been programed (through our upbringing and experiences), and this "blueprint" is what is pushing love away from you. These blocks need to be removed before you can find true love. You owe it to yourself and to your future love to do the internal work that is necessary in order to find real, lasting love.
You cannot really love someone else until you love yourself first. In order to love yourself, you need to heal yourself of all your past emotional wounds, whether they are from childhood or past relationships. If you don't heal yourself first, you're going to be bringing in all of that old baggage into your new relationships and you're going to keep repeating old patterns. Spend some time alone with yourself and really think about what your issues are that need some healing. Once you've figured it out you're going to want to sit with the pain, don't do anything to numb yourself. You have to first acknowledge those hurts in order to move past them. It's okay to be sad, it's okay to cry. It's a great emotional release. Here are some more helpful tips:
1. Hire a Therapist
There is nothing wrong with admitting you need some help in healing your issues so that you can move on to the next phase of your life. Find a therapist that you connect with and can be 100% honest with. True healing comes from being authentic.
Journaling is a great way to release any pent up emotions you might be holding on to. Write down whatever comes to mind, it doesn't have to make any sense. Don't judge what you're writing, just surrender and let it flow. Then you can go back and read it and identify what habits and patterns you keep repeating. You can also write in your journal a written request to the Universe on what it is that you truly desire.
3. Prioritize Self Care
It's difficult, if not impossible to do what you need to do in your life if you don't take care of yourself first! Whether it's performing your job to the best of your ability, taking care of your children, or even finding love, if you don't make yourself a priority then you won't have the energy for the others in your life. Make it a habit to focus on you for at least ten minutes a day. You could do anything; take a hot bath, go for a walk in nature, or just sit there and think.
Meditating helps get your brain on a different wavelength where it's more susceptible to influence. It is in this meditative state where you can visualize the life that you truly want to have. You can visualize your body and emotional state being completely healed.
5. Change Up Your Energy
What works the best is taking a shower or bath, or if possible taking a dip in an ocean or lake. You could get outside in nature. You could meet an uplifting friend for coffee or read a good book. Anything that changes up your energy that is uplifting and positive. Personally, I love getting acupuncture every month, and doing breath work whenever I can. Both of these techniques really move the energy in your body and can help you get to a good place emotionally.
Get Clear on What You Want
Next, you're going to want to get very clear on what it is that you want out of a relationship. If you're going out on dates without any idea what you're looking for or what your needs are, what that translates to your date is that you don't know how to set clear boundaries. I have to tell you that this is an invitation for disaster!
So I bet that you've made one of those lists, you know, the one that describes your perfect partner in detail. Now, these lists are good in that you're clearly describing what you want. But what's not so good is being too specific because sometimes the Universe brings us our soulmate but it's not wrapped in the package that we were expecting.
What I suggest to my clients is to make the list, but with two columns. One the left side write down those things that are non-negotiable, some quality that your partner must have in order for you to be happy. On the right side of you list are things that you desire in a partner, but they're negotiable. Make sure your list doesn't include any kind of physical or materialistic qualities such as: what color their hair is or what kind of job they have.
Date the Right People
Start dating the right people!
Stop wasting your time going on dates with people that don't have any relationship potential for you. Have enough self confidence and self esteem to walk away from a situation that's just not working for you. The more you walk away from the wrong person, the easier it gets.
You will never find true love if you keep going on dates with people that you just know aren't right for you. Listen to what your intuition is telling you, and make a commitment to yourself that you will follow it's guidance. Then, wait for the magic!
For more information on hiring me as your coach, send me an email [email protected]