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How to Process When the Person You Love Rejects You

It stings, but it is for the best.

By Elle White Published 6 years ago 3 min read
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When he looks at you, he could stop your heart beating in your chest. There is a connection, an undeniable connection, so much so that it overwhelms you the extent to which a person can hold a power over you. Through the day, you check your phone repeatedly, discontented by anything less than a text from him.

Things build, feelings grow.

Then out of nowhere:

"It's not you... it's me."

Or perhaps,

"I just see you as a friend."

It's more than ouch, that stuff really leaves a mark. Whether you dated for five years, were married, or you just had a mildly stalker-ish crush on the guy in bio — it hurts when we get rejected. Sometimes, we often feel like we can't talk about it either, afraid of sounding silly, or perhaps we already feel silly for being rejected. Here are a few ways I have found to deal with it through my extensive personal experience in the unfortunate area (I knew my ugliness would come in handy some day).

1. Accept It

Seems simple, but when someone says they aren't interested — don't go home and cry, get a haircut, or put on makeup and run back to them to try again. Abort mission, please. Just sit down, tell yourself that it isn't the end of the world and there will be someone else. Accept that you will feel sad too, but don't allow yourself to be sad forever.

2. Understand Why It Is for the Best

If you are completely head-over-heels in love for someone who only half feels the same, you are better off without them, even if they seem top notch to you. Honestly, you need someone who is as crazy about you as you are them! Eventually, you will find that and you will see that it comes naturally to that person. You shouldn't feel like you need to act/do things in order to gain the love or attention of the person you like. You deserve someone who would chase you half way across the country just because you are you.

3. Move On

Delete pictures, flip, delete him! Erase the guy who broke your heart from every social media platform you own, and give yourself some distance from him until you think you are able to view him as just a friend (or a human being if he was a total jerk to you). Distract yourself, have a girls' night and give yourself a good pampering.

4. Know You Still Rock

Understand that when a person turns you down, it doesn't mean there is anything wrong with you. Girl, (or dude) you are flipping awesome, and don't let any individual make you feel otherwise. You could look like Beyoncé and still get turned down because you don't know the person as well as you may think. I have turned down a few guys whom I have actually liked because I wasn't in a good enough place for a relationship, I was nervous etc. etc. There are many alternative reasons that you may not have even considered. The other person just doesn't see you both clicking, that's ok.

5. Don't Be Closed-Minded/Disheartened

It's easy, after someone hurts you, to just decide you have had enough with everyone. Don't let that tool have such a hold over your life to the point where he makes you sabotage every other relationship. Get out there, realise there are plenty of great people in the world you still have to meet, and take life as it comes.

So, have a little cry over a bucket of ice-cream, but once it's done, wipe those eyes and get back out there!

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About the Creator

Elle White

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