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How to Put a Spark Back into Your Marriage After Having Children

Tips on Putting a Spark Back in Marriage

Thinking back to when you first started dating your spouse, do you remember that warm fuzzy feeling you used to get every time they would look at you, kiss you, or ever hold you? Do you remember how much fun you had staying up late, talking all night, going to movies, going out dancing, or just going out to dinner? After having children, do you find it harder to make those types of plans with your spouse? Do you sometimes try to find a day and time to just have five minutes alone with one another and it ends up not working out? Well here are a few tips on how to spark some of that fire back into your marriage.

  1. After the kids go to bed; light up those candles in the bathroom, draw up a nice hot bath, turn out the lights, pour yourselves some glasses of wine, and enjoy a nice bath together. Then just let things lead on from there.
  2. This one is for those who don't mind a little role play. Get a baby sitter for the night. Rent a hotel room. Both of you get dressed up to go out to a nice bar. Men let your lady go into the bar first, give them a few minutes to find a place they feel comfortable sitting at. Men then you go in and find your lady. The role play part of this is that the man has to try to pick up his women from the bar as though they are just meeting for the first time. If you want to get creative change your names. The goal is that you can sweep your spouse off their feet just like you did on your first date and you can lead them back to the hotel room with you.
  3. Take time away with each other. There is nothing wrong with waiting till the kids take a nap or go to bed at night to be able to lock yourselves into your room and have fun.
  4. Make time to laugh with each other. Laughing is a great stress reliever. Get playful with one another. Have a pillow fight, or a tickling match. Talk in funny voices or just do goofy things to get each other laughing.
  5. Cuddle up on the couch and watch movies together. Have a little make out session if you want like a couple of teenage kids. (No one said growing up meant you had to always act like a grown up)
  6. Try new things in the bedroom. I know this may be hard from some people who aren't real comfortable with new things, but you might surprise yourself. Go to a toy store together, pick out things that may interest you, give them a try. Or just get a sex book and try out a new position.
  7. Trade roles in the bed room. Women don’t always let your man be the one to get things started, step up and be a little more dominant. Men same thing, women should not always be the only one trying to get things heated up. Take turns at who is in charge.

Those are just a few things that can help get things rolling into some fun times with your spouse. Just remember not all of the time do things need to lead to sex. Sometimes it's just nice having a good laugh with your spouse and enjoying quality time with them. Try to set up at least five minutes a day of just alone time with your spouse. Talk to them about their day and just enjoy being in their company. Remember to always listen to your spouse in the bedroom, sometimes trying new things can lead to hard limits for your spouse, just because you maybe enjoying what is going on doesn’t mean that they are. Try your best to stay open minded on new things.  

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