How To Really Achieve the Big O

I think it’s safe to say that everyone loves orgasms. It’s one thing you can never have too much of! Let’s not disregard the myriad of health benefits of having a Big O: improved circulation, hormones regulated, mood improvement from extra endorphins, immune system boost, reduction of stress from the rush of oxytocin…should I keep going? In short, life is better when you’re having orgasms!

For Women

1. Relax.

It’s well-documented that many women have trouble achieving orgasms. The first step to having an orgasm is to relax. Forget all those puritanical ideals. You are a human being, it is totally OK to want and need to have sex—it’s also totally normal.

2. Experiment.

Don’t be shy about telling your partner exactly what you need. Men are not mind readers and most would love to know what turns you on and helps you get that Big O. Don’t forget that men very have fragile egos, especially regarding performance in the bedroom. Explain what you like in a way that also let’s him know you desire him. Remember, it’s not what you say, but how you say it.

3. Take matters into your own hands.

Yes, I’m talking about masturbation! Nothing is taboo these days, and if you find that you are not climaxing, do it yourself. This is perfect for all the single ladies out there. Hey, self-love is the best kind of love! You can also masturbate in front of your partner, it doesn’t have to be a solo activity. Chances are good that not only will this turn him on, but he might learn a thing or two about what gets you off!

For Men

1. Don’t overthink it.

Being with a woman for the first time can be nerve wracking. Especially because men are expected to “perform." Just do what feels good!

2. Ladies first.

Didn’t your mother ever teach you that “ladies come first”? Now, she most likely wasn’t talking about orgasms, (uh, yikes!) but she was trying to teach you how to be a gentleman. So, if you have listened to your mother, you should be letting any lady go first. That goes for anything from exiting an elevator to walking into a restaurant. I’m going to add to that letting her orgasm first. If you don’t care about her pleasure, she just might not stick around very long. And if you don’t care, um, what exactly are you doing with her?

3.It’s not the end game.

Sex is (or should be) a pleasurable experience for all involved. But having an orgasm shouldn’t be the end goal (although it would be great if both people get off). You and your partner can have an amazing time even if neither one of you orgasms. Sex is the highest form of intimacy and is the glue that holds any relationship together. Make connecting to your partner your main goal when having intercourse. But don’t let that stop you from going for the Big O!

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