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In the process of building communication, a person with normal self-esteem wants to get support and be filled with energy. But, as practice shows, this is not always the case. After talking with some people, there is a feeling of emptiness, irritation and frustration. These are clear signs of a toxic relationship.
What does a toxic relationship mean?
Toxic relationships are interactions with a person who does more harm than good. They drain you morally, physically, and do not make you happy, but destroy from within. In the process of being in such interactions, a person's self-esteem decreases, the mood deteriorates, and a breakdown happens. If you want to grow and develop, and get the benefits and pleasure from communication, then you should look at the environment. Perhaps you are in an unhealthy relationship, but so used to it that you stopped noticing.
Who can have toxic relationships?
- Married Couple
- Friends and Relatives
- Parents and Children: For example, a single mother and daughter, or a mother who perceives her son as a mistake of youth.
- Work Colleagues
Typical Behavior Models:
Examples of "unhealthy" relationships are found everywhere, the main thing is to look closely. Here are some typical patterns of such relationships.
- Tyrant and Sacrifice: This is the most common scheme. In such alliances, the concepts of love and devotion are equated to suffering and self-sacrifice. Such a union often occurs between spouses, or child and parent. In these relations, one participant is clearly parasitic, and the other is fully committed to satisfying the wishes of another.
- Offended Victim: This type of union can be recognized by the characteristic phrases, “I gave you the best years of my life,” “I’m doing everything for you,” and "I would definitely do that for you.” In this case, the manipulator by all means imposes a sense of guilt, and forces the other person to do what he does not want.
- A Strict Teacher: Such a person gladly gives advice and convinces that nothing good will come from it. He is sincerely sure that he knows better, and therefore has the moral right to criticize and attune to the negative.
- Manipulation: Total control of the partner and simultaneous conflicting requirements to him are an integral attribute in toxic relationships. How else can you recognize a toxic environment, find out below.
Signs of a Debilitating Relationship:
- The desire of one person to control the actions of another.
- Regular expression of their discontent about, and without it.
- Attacks of jealousy and aggression, which are justified by strong love, care and anxiety. These actions make you constantly feel stressed out.
- Increased requirements for a partner, but unwillingness to fulfill response requests.
- Attempts to remake another person or impose his opinion on him.
- Bad jokes, black humor, offensive remarks. Constant comparison with other, more successful and attractive people.
- Low level of responsibility for the further development of relations and feelings of a partner.
- Frequent stories about past achievements, against the background of complete inaction at the moment.
- The requirement of increased attention to yourself.
- Often displeased facial expression and demonstration of insults.
How to Get Rid of a Toxic Relationship with Minimal Losses:
At first glance, it may seem simple enough to stop communicating. But if a poisoning person is a close relative, a single mother, an only child or spouse, then this is not so easy.
Having made the final decision to break the relationship, do it sharply. Stop justifying the offender and giving him second chances. As practice shows, people do not want to change and, having become accustomed to parasitizing on the energy of another person, they do not know how to build relationships in a different way.
Leaving a toxic union is not only moving to another city and stopping to communicate. Sometimes it is enough not to respond to provocations, to work on improving your self-esteem and to define personal boundaries.
Psychologists believe that a healthy person with adequate self-esteem will not enter into toxic, or any other destructive relationships.
A toxic person often has a lot of unsolved psychological problems with which he cannot cope on his own. So we'll weigh the pros and cons before continuing such communication.
What to Do If You Fail to Break the Communication:
If it is completely impossible to break off relationships, it is worth reducing their toxic effects through the following measures:
- Be few and far between such a person and reduce communication.
- Mark clear boundaries of the permitted behavior.
- Voice exactly what you do not like and ask not to do it again.
- Respond in kind.
- Stop reacting to manipulations.
If you can’t independently figure out what to do and how to defend yourself, contact a psychologist for help. Further interaction with the person who is poisoning turns into emotional burnout, loss of vitality. and internal balance.