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How to Strike Meaningful Conversations Anywhere You Go

Build Small Talks into Memorable Moments

By Toni KorazaPublished 5 years ago 5 min read
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Photo by Charles Deluvio 🇵🇭🇨🇦 on Unsplash

Have you ever found yourself thinking about engaging someone over a conversation? But nothing crossed your mind? So, you just sat there with giving an awkward stare or two? Ultimately, the moment was lost in overthinking about the conversation openers?

Aren't we all a victim of our own insecurity sometime?

There is a simple strategy that goes anytime, anywhere. Don't stress if you don't have a witty pickup line or mind-blowing observation too share. Small talks can get into that honey soaked inspirational conversation. I know some of you might roll your eyes over this. But small talks are crucial for conversation starters.

If you can't amaze them with perfectly conveyed words, amaze them with your approach.

Small talk can do that for you! You just have to actively listen to the speaker. I'll show you 4 steps to build any conversation into a meaningful connection.

If you don't have a friend that reminds you of how much they dislike small talks, you are probably that friend. In this new age, it has become extremely popular to hate on small talks. People will go out of their way to express how much they find small talks meaningless. Or even worse, a personal, painful drag.

By now, you have probably heard a few sentences along these lines:

"Small talks bore me, I only appreciate talking about deeper things."

"Can we talk about something that actually requires thinking?"

"I'm weird, I only like important conversations."

"Small talks? Ugh. Boo-ring!"

Most of the people that have the urge to express their disinterest with small talks are usually not the most interesting people in the group. They want to justify why they are not so interesting today. These lines are screaming: "I'm usually more fun to be around."

Truth be told. You can't only use small talks to create a meaningful connection with someone. But they are an essential part of every conversation. Even, if you know the person for years, it is hard to start a conversation about the meaning of life out of the blue.

Imagine engaging someone like this.

"Do you believe all of the human race ascended from Mars?"

"What kind of superpower would you like to have?"

"What was your favorite song as a kid?"

If someone approached me like this, I would be creeped out. These questions are interesting. I'd love to talk about any of the topics. But, not straight off. Especially, if I don't know the person. Answers to these questions are personal. They discover a great deal of your identity. I don't want to share them straight off. There is a need for a warm-up.

Small talks are important. They are used to engage a person into a more meaningful conversation. Or avoid a train wreck in the making. Small talks can help you discover a great deal about the person. You can find about their emotional state or their interests. Both are very important to continue the conversation. They can be hell-a-fun. You just have to know a few tricks. Let's call it a social skill. You just have to develop your social skill - just a bit.

Let's understand why small talks are important.

1. Engage the other person.

They are conversation starters. It would be hard to approach someone with deep and personal questions. Most people would find this intense and uncomfortable.

2. Assess the emotional state.

It is easy to see where on the emotional scale someone is. People will let you know, If they had a long day or if they are cheerful to talk. Pay more attention to appearance then the actual words being said. Some people try to be polite to everyone. Just look at them when you asked them about the day or the weather. You can easily see are they in the mood to the continent this engagement. If they are not in the mood, don't push it!

3. Discover more about them

You can easily find out what people like. What kind of fun they prefer is my personal favorite. By asking: "what did you do last night?", you can discover what they like to do in their free time. Are they more, of a social engager, club goer. Or if they are intimate, I love to watch movies and read books for fun, type a person. Whatever they prefer, you can continue the conversation in that direction. If they are intimate, it is easy to ask about their favorite movies or a favorite book. Or on the other side, what kind of clubs they like the most.

4. Find the point of deeper interest

By this point, you should already know if they are interested in talking and something about them. When you know these things, everything further is just fun, fun, fun. This is when the conversation starts taking shape of the real connection. If they like superhero movies, you may ask them about their superpowers. If they like clubbing, what kind of music are they into. Everything said after this point is not small talks anymore. Conversation is starting to create a meaningful moment.

Let's see this example. John wants to approach a group of girls at the beach. , For any man, this is a scary ordeal. Approaching a whole group of women. Utterly terrifying.

John takes a deep breath. Approaches the group.

"Hey ladies, how is it going on this cloudy morning?"

"We have collectively seen a better morning." One of them says with a grin on her face.

"A bit of a hangover, I may presume."

"Yes, a huge one, last night was so craa-zy" The other one adds, while the group burst into giggles.

"Oh really, where have you been last night?"

"We went to this club called Amnesia. It was so fun!" One of the girls says.

"I guess the name of the club really reveals a lot! Doesn't it?"

"It does, haha, it really does"

"What was going on there last night?"

"It was an electronic music event. Tale of us was playing."

"I love them, they are so great. I've seen them a bunch of times. Techno isn't it?"

"Yes, that is our favorite music genre"

"This music is really changing the world. Events are made for fun an celebration of life. No more fights or brawls on the night out"

"Totally, that is why we love these events! Fun and peaceful. What are you doing here? One of the girls asks"

The conversation continues to create a sincere and fun moment for anyone involved.

The terrifying ordeal turned to a fun morning at the beach. New friends are on the horizon. Everything is set for carefree times.

With this technique, it is easy to approach anyone. Casual or business. If you just follow the guidelines, you'll be able to meet new people where ever you go! Also, you will have so much fun while doing so!

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About the Creator

Toni Koraza

Curious Fellow | Founder at madX Digital and 2 Minute Madness |

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