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Online dating—does it work?
My answer? Sometimes. Although, in this day and age it's extremely rare for it to ever work out.
I however, am a lucky one.
I met my partner through Call of Duty on the PlayStation 3 almost four years ago! He lived only ten hours away — I know what you're thinking... "only ten hours away...ONLY!" Yes, ONLY. To some, that may seem too far, but to many people in LDRs it's a luxury they could only hope to have. I couldn't imagine the struggle of being on the other side of the state, much less in another country completely!
Being in a LDR is far from easy.
There will be days that you don't hear from him/her. Days that you will miss your partner so deeply that you will be able to feel every mile between you, and days where you will start to lose hope. The one thing that you must ALWAYS remember is that more often than not, you're not alone with these feelings. If you're feeling disconnected from your partner, more than likely they are feeling it too.
So how do you survive a LDR? How do you make it work?
There are 5 key rules that I have learned in my own relationship.
1) Communication is KEY.
If you're feeling some type of way towards your partner or a particular situation, you need to EXPRESS your feelings. Without doing so, this will cause tension in your relationship. This goes for all relationships, not just long distance. I also recommend using FaceTime. Face-to-face communication will make the relationship a lot easier.
2) Give your partner space.
I know, I know... I'm sure a lot of you are going, "But you just said communication is key!!" Well, it is. However, if you're constantly texting and calling your significant other, it's eventually going to get a bit much and he/she will start to pull away. You need to give your S/O some time to themselves.
Without trust any relationship will fail. If you don't trust your partner and you're always accusing them of cheating/lying or if you're constantly worrying about what they are doing then this will cause great harm to the relationship. One person will have constant anxiety and the other will grow tired of constantly having to defend themselves about bogus accusations.
4) Be considerate.
Sometimes it can feel like you two are slowly separating, like your S/O is losing interest, but in reality they are just busy. It's important to remember that we all live our own lives and sometimes things happen, whether it be a loss of a family member, or drama with friends... people deal with things in different ways. You must be considerate of what your S/O is going through and NEVER assume the worst. However, this goes both ways. If you know you're not going to be very talkative due to your current situation, let your partner know. A simple text explaining that you lost a loved one and that you need some time to process the loss can make the biggest difference. This way, they won't feel like they are being ignored or forgotten about.
5) Give reassurance.
This isn't something that needs to be done every day, however, a text every couple weeks expressing your feelings for your S/O can help regain some of that mojo and also help boost their confidence about the relationship. Besides, who doesn't like hearing about how much they are loved and how amazing they are?
All in all, long distance is a b*tch. It takes a LOT of effort, patience and time, but if it's done right then it can turn out to be one of the most rewarding things in life. I fell in love with my partner's soul before I could even touch his skin, and if that's not true love then I don't know what is.