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How to Tell a Real Friend

Because There Are a Lot of Fakes out There

By Iria Vasquez-PaezPublished 6 years ago 3 min read
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I met some real friends through the frenemy because I saw that they do not share certain traits with them. They are their own people who cope with stuff daily, and don't run away from it, unlike the frenemy. Relational bullies are subtle. You have no idea that they are bullying you until they get underhanded. My friends of today take responsibility for their actions, unlike the frenemy. I like people who bother to express a full range of emotions. These people are normal. The frenemy can’t take no for an answer of any kind.

She invited herself over without my permission or my consent. Sometimes I need my privacy. My real friends understand this. I am an introvert who can be extroverted at times due to mania or at the very least when I push my extrovert button and can function as one for a brief period. She can’t be told that she did something to piss somebody else off. She is a frenemy who laughed at one of her oldest friends behind her back. I realized the frenemy existed on my own because I really didn’t notice at first.

Trust is not just given, it is earned, and some people of this bully ilk do not know how to earn anything. The frenemy pissed me off for the last time. I’m so done with this person. You do not make fun of somebody with a certain heritage that involves not having sex before marriage. You see, religious types are not into giving it up right away. We wait. Casual sex is quite dangerous since it can give you an STD. I’m furious at this frenemy. I didn’t notice her frenemy stuff until I injured my leg and she didn’t make a move to take care of me. It is apparently all about her.

My newer friends are inclined to work on themselves. If they need therapy, they got to therapy to do the work. If they have to take medication, they take medication. Irresponsibility pisses me off. You want to piss me off, don’t renew your meds or go to the pharmacy to pick them up. I get a calorie-burning walk out of walking to the pharmacy. Of course, I take care of myself while others do not. I try my best to keep everything under control. My blood sugar has to stay stable in order for me to function at all. I never once had an emergency in the last 11 years or so. I’m great at taking care of myself, but other people are not so lucky if they refuse to take their medication or skip their medication outright. How do you expect to stay stable if you do that? The thing is, somebody I used to know once knew taking your meds daily was the way to go, and this person was once stable. I’m leaving out identifying characteristics.

The thing is, I have to work hard to stay stable. I do well with staying stable. I try my best. I bust my butt. I work for my stability. It is work to maintain it. But I am succeeding. Last year, I learned what my classroom limitations were, and how to manage stress. I earned many certificates because I finished my classes back to back. I wish I had a part-time work from home gig and one real-world part-time gig. I have to pay up $200 for the insurance job I need to get. This money pays for training. Of course, I lack financial resources save what I’m doing for work right now, which is writing copy. I’m just pissed at frenemies who borrow my books without giving it back to me because I get manipulated into saying “sure,” you can borrow that. At least some people return my books and have returned them over the years. Yes, I demand to get my books back. I need them back so I plain do not let anybody borrow my books anymore. I also refuse to put up with frenemies, period. Either be a true friend or don’t bother. If you have sinned, acknowledge it. My real friends can take responsibility for their actions.

friendship
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About the Creator

Iria Vasquez-Paez

I have a B.A. in creative writing from San Francisco State. Can people please donate? I'm very low-income. I need to start an escape the Ferengi plan.

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