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How to Write Opening Lines That Will Get a Response on Dating Apps

Be authentic, funny, and specific to write opening lines that will get a response on dating apps.

By Ben KharakhPublished 6 years ago 7 min read
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"Turn on the lights! I'm lookin' for 'er too; I heard she sings songs to pre-existing tunes!" We hear ya, Future, but we're not going to give you a call if we find that special someone because we're going to keep them for ourselves! Everyone wants love—the willful reconstitution of the other, as Sartre might say. We want someone to willfully reconstitute us! Accept us warts and all, bring out our best selves, and make out with us. But how?! Hoooooooowl! We're turning into Tex Avery wolves over here. What we need to find out is how to write opening lines that will get a response on dating apps. That's the ticket!

Specific Compliments

To be beautiful is to be emotionally evocative. That speaks to so many things, so be specific. You should be avoiding physical compliments, but complimenting someone's glasses works. What works even better is focusing on something that they have in their profile that separates them from everyone else. After all, if they bothered to put it in there, it stands to reason that it's important to them. That's a good strategy for opening lines that will get a response on dating apps. "I think it's so cool that you're straight edge! That makes you no Minor Threat to me! What are your top 5 hardcore bands?"

Be funny.

Being funny is a great way to write opening lines that will get a response on dating apps. Women love senses of humor, even though too many dudes are intimidated by women who are funny. Don't be that dude, dudes; and, ladies, keep on crackin' jokes!

You can open with something innocuous like, "What do you call a pony with a sore throat? A little horse! (And a doctor.)" Or you can be a little flirty. "Knock knock." Who's there? "Touchmywho." Touchmywhowho? "Whoa, let's get to know each other first!" Aw, you got us good! But don't go blue right away because then you might come off as one of deeze. "Deeze what?" Deeze nutz. Now we got you; haha! Resist the temptation to make deeze nutz jokes even though there's Deeze nuts jokes for every occasion.

You don't need to know how to become a standup comedian. Just have fun with what the two of you have in common, like the shared experience of being on a dating app. Or Trump, he's the worst of us!

Be confident.

To write opening lines that get a response on dating apps takes guts and creativity. Sure, you may need to learn how to be confident, but until then just fake it till you make it. No matter how unconfident you might feel about your opening message, don't open with your own reservations about what you're sharing. You're priming your audience to not like what's about to happen! Just say what you want to say without also being deprecating. That's one of those online dating message tips you can apply to other parts of your life.

The exception is if your self-deprecation is funny. In which case see the above entry about humor. "Oh hai! I also did my undergrad in anthropology. Do you find that you make use of your degree? I feel like the only thing I'm digging up is debt, and now I'm always worried about deeze." Deeze what? "Deeze nutz!" Hey, what'd we say about deeze?! "Deeze what?" Deezy nutz! Euch, now you've got us hooked on it!

Invite engagement!

This one's easier to do on a site like OkCupid because people compose more extensive profiles. Pick something that you know about on the profile and ask a specific question about it that you'd like to know the answer to. You're going to have to be extra creative writing opening lines that will get a response on dating apps like Tinder or Bumble because people's profiles are less robust and you primarily have pictures to go off of. "I noticed that you have a Misfits shirt on. Are you also into psychobilly? I love Danzig, BTW. He's always writing about deeze!" "Deeze what?" "DEEZE NUTZ!" Wow. You're going all in on deeze. "Deeze what?" Deeze nutz! When that finally works for you hold onto that person and never let go! " Like, 'never let go, Jack; never let go of deeze!'" Deeze what? "Deeze nuts!" Oh boy, you're really trying to wear us down.

Be authentic.

It's a great big universe. And we're all really puny! We're just tiny little specks; about the size of Mickey Rooney. That's a reference to the 90s cartoon Animaniacs. Did you know that? If so, maybe you can put that in your opening message because that'll individualize you relative to everyone else. Being your unique, authentic self is a great route to take to crafting opening lines that will get a response on dating site. After all, the person you want them to go on a date with is you, not you're idea of who you think they want to go on a date with. Why would you want to set them up with someone you're not?!

Be gender specific.

Gender is a spectrum and gender is performative. If you find someone who's sticking close to particular gender norms then you may deploy some of the more proven tactics to write opening lines that will get a response on dating apps. For example, the response rate for men is 98% greater if you make a straightforward, assertive opening gambit like, "Come with me if you want to eat wings!" Women, meanwhile, are 40% more likely to respond to messages about food. "I think one of the best slices in NYC is Pizza Suprema across the street from Penn Station. Plus, they have hot honey!"

Be an intersectional feminist.

This is for the guys, and even more so for white guys: read up on intersectional feminism. Not only should you respect and support women, you should also be taking categories like race and class into consideration. Otherwise, you're a part of the problem! A lot of women will even mention exactly the sort of messages they don't want to get. So if you're a guy one way to write opening lines that will get a response on dating apps is to highlight ways that you're an ally.

A lot of women simply don't want to date guys who aren't woke I.E. Trump supporters. And if there are women out there who say they're not feminists and do want to date Trump supporters, then I hope they never meet because society needs less of them! We're looking at you—52% of white women who voted for Trump. You should read up on women of color, Shirley Chisholm, and intersectionality too.

Keep it short.

To write opening lines that get a response on dating apps keep your messages short. Do not write a long message!

No Tippoes!

A lot of profiles demand that messages come from someone who knows the difference between they're/their/there and to/two/too. So double check your messages because not having typos is a sure fire way to write opening lines that will get a response on dating apps. Unless you're channeling Prince or Lil Uzi Vert.

Message fast!

Conveying intent is important when writing opening lines that will get a response on dating apps. Nothing does that more effectively than trying to start a conversation soon after matching. Otherwise, your chemistry may fizzle. Similarly, don't chat for too long before actually scheduling to meet because the message you're communicating is that you're either too nervous or not interested enough to meet. You don't want to let someone get away just because you were too afraid to let someone know you were interested in deeze– "nutz." OMG. This whole time I was looking for someone and I didn't realize what was right in front of me. Maybe we should go out and get some deeze– "nutz." Yeah, deeze– "nutz." Yeah. <3 <3 <3

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About the Creator

Ben Kharakh

Manic pixie dream goth. With appearances in Fortune, Vice, Gothamist, and McSweeney's.@benkharakh

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