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Why did I feel like writing to you today? Before I explain.
"Is it kinda crazy or stupid of me when I can't get someone out of my head? No matter how hard I've tried? That this person even shows up in my sleep?
In dreams at least I can travel the distance. In dreams everything seems perfect and right. But upon awakening you realise that life, though continuing on its normal course of endless loops of orbits around the sun just as the moon around the earth and the endless changes of the season, that upon awakening everything is not perfect or right. Because a part of yourself is missing. The part given away without knowing...without even trying.
At some point in time, I must have given that part of myself to you. It's not something I ever wished to happen, a thing I can't take back, and a concept I can't begin to fathom. I think I've tried to tell you in the past but I feel I've thus far been unsuccessful.
It could also be that what I fear the most is rejection or that I don't see myself as anyone capable of loving or being loved. That I'm not adequate enough to compete for your heart. Maybe I just don't want to be selfish and try to take what is not mine. Or because I really don't quite yet have the faith in the three simple most over used words in the english language. Whatever the reason. At least I hope you can begin to understand my action up to this point. Why I can never get mad and why my words and messages become jumbled or just strange and random. Because I'm lost at words to say. Because even the thought of you throws my mind into a state of confusion and a whirlwind of feelings.
I'm not hitting on you. I am just telling and describing my feelings to you...that I love you and probably more than I should.
But I know your heart belongs to someone else at the moment. I've also concluded that I was never even a possibility. But I at least wanted you to know my true feelings. And know the I speak the truth when I say I am sorry...for everything." ~ Trong Turner (An excerpt of my latest work in progress)
Lonely Nights are Proof Enough
Remember those rare occasional lonely nights? You know the ones that just seem to get to you in those rare and lonely stormy nights? Everything on the surface seems to be fine. But then the sky crackles up above in the heavens. Thunder booms and the endless tears fall as they hit the ground and soak the parched dry ground.
If you have never felt this feeling, then stop reading. Maybe I got it all wrong and I'm simply being a helpless romantic.
But you know I'm right. Deep down even if you don't want to admit it.
Humans are romantics by self-nature. It's innate.
Don't let it lay dormant. Because the very thing you denied up 'til now was meant to bring on and attract what you most desire.
Embrace your humanity. Live Laugh Learn, most importantly Love.