I Have a Really Nice Ass

I always took an extra 15 minutes to make sure my eyeliner was as even as possible and my eyelashes weren't clumpy in the slightest. I wore my retainer every night so my teeth stayed straight, and I always used whitening strips on the weeks I drank coffee. I glued on fake nails so often that I went through three tubes of glue since school started.

But have you seen my ass?

I made sure to check every addition to your story to make sure that you were still doing okay, even though we had just talked two hours earlier. I would drink energy drinks on the rough nights, because I didn’t want to accidentally fall asleep if you needed me. I cut him off because I knew that I cared about you more than I did him. I got in a lot of fights with a lot of people who wanted the best for me, which usually didn’t match up with what you wanted. A lot of people called me a whore because of the things you told them.

But OMG, when I wear leggings? Amazing.

You knew everything that happened with both of them. You knew how he was only friends to get in my pants, and how he held reciprocating love above my head to get nudes. We stayed up and talked about how much people suck and how hard life is sometimes. You reminded me that high school wouldn’t last forever and that I would eventually get the happiness I was so desperately looking for. I went to you when I was upset, worried that boys would only ever see me as my body. You promised me that someday some guy would see me as more. You were sad a lot. I spent a lot of time away from my family, checking to make sure you were okay. I defended you every time someone called you soft. I told everyone off that called you a man-whore.

But god, I have such a good ass.

A lot of people hated you. Most people didn’t want me to have anything to do with you. But I knew you weren’t just the douchey druggy you pretended to be in front of everyone else. When you threatened to jump off the roof if I broke up with you, I texted every one of our friends. I stayed up until they told me that you had gone to sleep. I didn’t want to talk to you ever again. After everything you had said the night before, I didn’t see a point in pretending like we would ever work again. But everyone said you were really hurting so I told you I’d meet up with you at lunch. 15 minutes later, I walked by your auto classroom and almost got hit with the piece of metal you threw at my head. I told admin not to worry about it. When I told you to leave me alone three months later, you didn’t. So, I ate lunch in a teacher’s classroom. I also spent my off periods in that classroom because you could not leave me alone. That summer, I said yes when you asked me out again. I was not allowed to drink at the family wedding and I had to respond within 20 minutes of your texts. You got mad because I mentioned a boy’s name, who I explained was my uncle but you didn’t believe me. I left the after party so I could make sure you were okay. I woke up the next morning to a text meant for your best friend, about how amazing the girl you took home was in bed. We broke up again and you told me that if anything happened to you, it’d be on me. What you didn’t know was that I had already told our friends to check on you before telling you it was over. Five months later, and we were once again in the situation where you loved me, but only if I would send you nudes. But, you were drunk and I was still in love with you. So, I just held out hope that in the morning you’d say it again, no strings attached. You told me that you didn’t, but that you needed me in your life in case it fell through with the current girl you were talking to. So I stayed until you eventually cut me off for getting into a relationship.

But wow, my ass is fire.

I loved you a lot. I made sure to tell you all the time because I knew that sometimes you felt alone in the world. I knew that you just wanted to make your family proud of you, so I’d stay up and do your homework for you so you could get your grades up. A lot of people hated you, too. He called you a creep, so I cut him off. I loved him, but not as much as you. I watched as you destroyed my relationships because you were “looking out for me.” You made me uncomfortable a lot, but I never left. I knew how much you needed me around. You’d yell at me when I didn’t do what you wanted, but all you had to do was wait two hours and I’d be back with an apology. I didn’t hug my friends, no matter how much I was hurting, because I didn’t want to upset you. I loved my friends a lot, but I knew that it’d hurt you if I was affectionate with anyone but you. I broke the promises I made to myself because your needs required it. I had to tell you "no" a lot, but I always made sure that you knew it was because of me, that it was never anything related to you or what you had done. We had you over when things got bad because I know how hard it is to go home to a place where the floor is littered with emotional landmines. I completely changed myself, because I knew that was what you needed to feel better. I knew those promises were bullshit, but I never called you out on them. You said you needed me so I stayed. No matter what had happened, you always counted on me. Even after everything, I couldn’t leave because it would ruin your life. So again, I stayed until you left. And I was there when you came back. Then, I still stayed after you left again. I can’t blame you for treating our relationship like a revolving door. I’m sure it’s comforting to know that there’s always someone you can go back to once your current fling fails. I knew what you wanted, but you were so goddamn good at pretending like it wasn’t just about that and I ignored it. I guess it worked out for both of us, since in the end, you just took what you wanted anyway.

But damn, I have a really nice ass.