I miss you. I really do, but I don’t mean missing the intimacy, I miss you for you everything that made you so entrancing.
I miss your humor, how you always had a quip or a one liner to make me laugh. But even then I loved watching you make everyone else laugh. Sure I always played it off as embarrassing, but you had such a knack of putting smiles on faces. I remember rolling my eyes harder than before when you would catch me in a joke or a pun.
I miss your smile to when did that, how you wouldn’t ever give a full on smile, but watching the corners of your mouth turn up. So devious yet sweet, knowing you had succeeded in another humor filled conquest.
I miss how your eyes almost seemed to sparkle when you did that. But I miss them more for how beautiful and deep they were. I could have stared at them for hours, they were beautiful. And within them held so much of you and they had seen so many brilliant things I yearned to learn about. But they also held mysteries I may never know about you. Almost like the ocean, brilliant on the surface but reaching so far down you may never see what’s at the bottom. That’s okay, even if there are things I may never know, I still miss it all.
I miss how you weren’t afraid to tell it as is. Whenever someone needed to hear it how it was you didn’t back down. Or when I truly needed to hear the hard truth you gave it to me, but you weren’t cruel. You never were, somehow you always knew the right way to say it all.
I miss your hugs, not just the feeling though of your arms around me. I miss how they gave me a sense of home, of comfort. I knew I could feel safe with them around me, vulnerable. When I hugged you it felt like a weight off my shoulders.
I miss your scent, even without cologne. To me it was calm and reassuring, intoxicating. I could never get enough and when I would leave and still smell you on me. It gave me butterflies.
I miss your kisses and the scruff from your stubble. From forehead to cheek to kisses to lips, each one felt like it held the world in them. A world that felt like ours, that only we shared. Gentle, passionate or sometimes even intimate. Every kiss was electric, sending a warm wave over my body, igniting my heart even more.
I miss your quirks, the not-so-normal habits, the ticks. How you had to lay a certain way to fall asleep, always on your side. Or how you just loved to pop pimples... be it on me or you. Even how forgetful you were, and despite the fact it annoyed me it was always funny to me in my mind. How when you cuddled me you always wanted to tangle your body with mine, or insisted on sleeping with the fan on.
I miss my body against yours, whether it was cuddling, holding hands, sitting. We just seemed to match, and when I laid my head against your chest, I loved listening to your heart beat. Knowing that I had the pleasure of knowing the mind and body it kept going.
I miss... I miss you. In ways I can’t even begin to express through words. All the time I spent observing and analyzing and listening and ingesting every piece I could get of you… I miss it all. But what I miss the most.. Is being able to tell you I love you, and that I love everything about you. I love you for your passion, your drive, your humor, your mind, your laugh, your smile, your eyes… for your heart.
I miss you, but I love you more.
About the Creator
Colorful Chaotic
I write to keep the demons at bay.
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