I Wish My Life Was Like a Movie


Dating at this time and age seems impossible. I’m still technically young— 27, soon to be 28—but I sometimes feel like I’m going to end up alone for the rest of my life. I don’t think I’m too bad looking, my personality can be great once you get to know me, and I have some goals I’m actually working towards. So what’s the reason I’m still single? 

Oh, and did I mention I’m bisexual? I have dated men and woman and still can’t find a solid relationship. Sometimes I wonder if it’s the fact I have a daughter. But then I think about all these other people that are in relationships with people with children from previous relationships. 

Can it be my resting bitch face? I mean I’ve been told by just about everybody that finally courages up to talk to me that they thought I was stuck up. But me myself, I never judge a book by its cover so I kind of expect the same openness from others. But I’m sadly learning it doesn’t always work like that. 

I’ve been slightly addicted to social media more lately hoping if I post the right pic on Instagram, Mr./Miss Right might come across my page and the rest will be history. But that kind of stuff seems to only happen in movies. And I’m definitely a huge movie fanatic and that’s probably where this hopeless romantic idea got stuck in my head. 

I feel like I’m at that age where I want to just settle down and have a family and someone behind me, rooting me on with everything I do. Is that too much to ask? When I was in high school a relationship was the last thing I was worried about. I had my first relationship when I was 19; I dated a dude for about 8 months then I ended up cheating. (Won’t get into detail on that.) My daughter’s father is a guy I dealt with all throughout high school, but we never committed to a relationship, it was just more for sexual pleasure. I hate to call my daughter an accident, but that’s exactly what she was. I didn’t love her father, but she was the greatest gift of all. 

It wasn’t until after I had my daughter that I met my first girlfriend. I was 23 and absolutely crazy in love. She was my first girlfriend and relationship that I actually took seriously. We were together for four years and it was some of the best years of my life. So why did we break up? Long story short we both just had a lot of personal growing we had to do, and our goals were kinda taking us down different paths. Through dating both men and women I have learned that I don’t have a preference on gender. Women make great companions because we have an understanding of each other. We know how to deal with each other's feelings and emotions. Because who knows a woman better than a woman? And dating men I still haven’t found one I have a great mental connection with; it’s more just a physical and sexual attraction. I mean because that is normal. Relationships with women seem to move much quicker than men too. Women are not afraid of commitment or love, because we all want the same thing. But don’t get me wrong, women and men can both cheat. So when people ask me what I’m looking for in a relationship, I never have an answer, because I really don’t even know who I want. All I know is there is somebody for everybody, and I’m ready for mine. 

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I Wish My Life Was Like a Movie
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