Identifying Toxic People and Cutting Them Out

With 7 billion people in the world it’s no surprise that during our time on this planet some people we build meaningful encounters with will be, TOXIC.

Everyone experiences these people and it’s no secret that they’re poisonous for your soul. These people are not necessarily inherently evil, but part of who you are will be unsettled whenever they are present - and this can happen whether you are consciously aware, or blissfully blind to it.

Whether it is a relationship, friendship, family member, co-worker, or just an acquaintance you can guarantee that they are dragging you down and trapping you from being the best version of you.

It is a repetitive cycle that drains your energy and self worth, so if you think this certain person is TOXIC for you, let’s identify if you need to say buh-bye!

Simple signs:

1. Engaging in Unhealthy Behaviours and Activities togetherHaving a one of night where it didn’t end well with someone is bound to happen, but are you constantly repeating the same behaviours with this person? You feel exhausted, bored, uninspired when doing this. It may be engaging in that person’s social group of where you don’t agree with these people, drinking or drug use that becomes too much - this person will place you in situations where at first may seem ok, but as time goes on it becomes repetitive and TOXIC.
2. Emotionally HurtfulDoes this person hurt your feelings? Does this person say things which make you feel anger, sadness, anxiety, dread. Do the actions of this person make you wonder if they respect you at all? It may be on purpose, but sometimes the person cannot help their words or actions. They lack compassion and empathy in general and especially to you. Other people around them may be able to accept it, but if it is taking a toll on your emotional wellbeing, oh gosh, why do you need that.
3. Disrespectful Towards You or The People You Love.Saying and doing disrespectful things is not what you deserve, want or need. They can either cut it out, or you cut them out. It’s okay for people not to get along with others in your life, not everyone has to like your favourite people. Although this may be hard to deal with, at least they’re not rude about it. It’s not okay when this person is disrespectful towards them and outright about it. If this person had respect for you, they would also respect your other relationships and aim to accept this and not get involved. If someone is badmouthing or telling you negative things, or saying you shouldn’t be associated with someone, that’s just rude.
4. Exerting Physical HarmIn no circumstance is this acceptable. Major warning, no one has the right to get physically harmful with you. Whether it is the way they touch you or if they intend to exert pain, you own your own body and they can’t take that away from you.
5. ControllingVery common. Control you? Never. You may not even realise it. They tell you what to do, what not to do, who you shouldn’t spend time with, what to wear or not to wear. They want to know what you are doing, who you are doing it with, where you are going, and it’s not just a statement because they’re genuinely interested, if it’s over and over again its called JEALOUSY and POSSESSIVENESS. This person wants to OWN you, not CARE for you. Cut that crap, you are your own person.
6. DishonestyWhy are they lying to you? Why are they secretive? Because they do things with the knowledge that it’s not fair on you. Don’t waste time with a liar, you can’t win.
7. SelfishnessIs this person self absorbed, wrapped up in a little world of me me me, unable to see the bigger picture and subsequently unable to see that you are just as important as them. Do they act for themselves and do little for you? Do they genuinely care and listen to your problems? When the answer is no it’s time to go?Life is all about being your own boss and creating meaningful and loving bonds along the way. If these traits are inherent in this person, do yourself justice, set them free and rid yourself from their aura.

Now, for the big cut:

1. Tell Them StraightOver the phone, in person, messenger, whatever it takes to tell this person how they make you feel, you can graciously say this without anger or offence and ask for the respect of not associating with them.
2. Avoid, Block, Cut Straight Away Without Warning.Sometimes they don’t need to know why you cut them out, you can simply just do it and do it for yourself. If this person is outright TOXIC, you don’t need to hesitate anymore.

Mantras to Tell Yourself:

1. I am worthy of the respect I know I deserve!
2. I do not need their negativity to be brought upon me in my life!
3. They are not healthy for me, no matter how much I want to hold on!
4. My life and happiness will improve when this change is made!
5. I know I have little to lose because there are 7 billion others who I could encounter!
6. I am strong and capable of making the change that will set me free!
7. I have others who love me, and others who care deeply!
8. I am my own person and I am the creator and ruler of my life!
9. I need to stand up for myself and I need to start now!
10. Reminder! They ain't shit!

They are simply not worth our precious time that we have been given. Make the change and merit yourself with the strength and self guidance that everyone deserves. Trust your instincts and be bold and brave with your choice. Take the chance even if you are wholly connected to them, or if your encounters are unfrequent. Then and ONLY then will you embark on a beautiful journey of self realisation and happiness by setting yourself free from their negative energy.