Impact

What do you do when you’re about to die?

Tom Craven asked himself the same question every time he got in a car, flew in a plane, or said goodbye to his girlfriend. He was a precocious man, and was usually never fully satisfied with anything; what if it were a little better, a little bigger, timed a bit bigger, worded slightly more coherent? Yet on the day of his flight home from a weekend trip to Colorado with his closest friends, none of those thoughts occurred to him. He didn’t concern his attention span with the length of the flight, the quality of the food and drinks, the timeliness and etiquette of his fellow sky-bus goers. He simply looked over the aisle at a girl he’d known for three years and couldn’t believe that he’d never told her that he loved her, or known the taste of her lips. He thought this as the Boeing 747, engines flaming, glided aimlessly towards the earth at least a hundred miles from the destination.

Two Days Earlier

Elise took the shot Tom brought her as the rest of the crew were dancing on the barroom floor to the Top 40 mix playing in heavily bass-laden tones as the snow fell outside. She smiled, thanked him, and toasted the rest of the group. Elise would normally have been down to boogie on the floor with everyone else, but she’d gotten the feeling that Tom wanted to talk about something, or at least that something was bugging him, but he wasn’t ready to say what. He’d been pounding Jack and sodas like they were on a clearance sale, and yes, was uncharacteristically quiet. Tom was normally the first one to make calls about what the group should do, where they should go, and who should be responsible for what tasks, yet for the last day or so he’d been lethargic and his mouth had only opened to eat at meals.

On the Plane

Tom was staring at her from his sea—they both had an aisle seat on row 25—with an intensity Elise had never seen, even from the man sitting next to her on the plane, with whom she’d shared a bed for the last three years. She knew it now. She’d only suspected in the little dark spaces between visible parts of herself, but now she knew, and if she hadn’t been teary-eyed from the imminent doom, she’d have been for this new realization. It was stark and inescapable.

On the Plane

Do it, fucking do it! This might literally be the last chance you ever get. Tom struggled to find the courage and the words, but everything he’d ever known failed him at once as tears of anguish filled his eyes and his heart screamed at him in morse code. All around him gravity was a fierce and vengeful force of nature that had been ignored by man for one flight too many. All quiet in the cockpit, but the attendants—many of whom were crying despite their training, and trying to give calm instructions over the screams and panicked ranting of the damned.

“Did something hit us?” A woman yelled, two honey arms wrapped around a crying infant, clutching it to her breast.

“Ma’am please try to remain calm and get your oxygen mask on.” A green attendant says.

“I thought you fucking people check these damn things before take off? What the hell did you do?” Another voice called out.

“Sir, sit your ass down know or I’ll knock you down. And put your mask on now!” A seasoned veteran growled with a tight jaw and wide eyes.

The plane shook madly in the un-friendly sky as the geography of middle America came more and more defined.

Three Years Earlier

Tom was matter of fact in every facet of his life. He lived by simple, tried and true principles like, “If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it,” and “Don’t sweat the shit you can’t change.” When something came his way he didn’t like, he found a way around it, and when he was wronged he didn’t get mad, he got even. His former girlfriend, Georgina, had left him for this, among other things. He was a deeply unsentimental person who goes things done on time, no questions asked. He’d been more surprised than hurt when his shortcomings had been made clear to him, and in the year following the breakup, had seen no reason to burden himself again with love and romance, until he met a girl one of his friends had met and started dating called Elise.

Three Days Earlier

Tom was climbing the staircase to the second floor of the rented condo. He couldn’t believe how sick of a deal he’d gotten on the place. The location was amazing, the view was to die for, and space was perfect for the size of the group. It was late, and after the inaugural night of drinking at the downstairs bars, he was the last one to call it a night. They had an early start the next day if they wanted to get the most out of the slopes, and he wanted to verify the details and organize everything he would need to get the rest of his friends on track for a good time. A repetitive, springy sound came from the room next to his. As he drew closer he could tell that it was the sound of the bed taking a pounding, and that wasn’t all. At the threshold of Sam’s door, he could hear the unmistakable sounds of his friends making love to a beautiful girl he’d been seeing for about three years. He heard her too, and when he did something inside him changed forever.

Something broke.

Three Years Earlier

Her new boyfriend had invited her to a party to meet his friends, and Elise was more nervous than excited. From the moment Sam enthusiastically introduced her to people at a birthday party for someone called Tom, she’d felt like she was in a high school dream, exposed and stressed. She wasn’t the lover of people and crowds that Sam was, but she liked this one quite a lot and wanted to make a good impression. Eventually, she met Tom, the birthday boy, and they hit it off almost immediately making dumb jokes about parties and people and all the absurdity of life. He was clearly more than a little drunk, as a proper birthday boy should be, in her opinion. Yet, there was more to it than simple banter and bullshitting. It was an ineffable connection that just felt relaxing and natural to her. Normally, it took months to get someone to show themselves to her beyond all the trivialities of everyday life and small talk, but there was something piercing about this Tom guy, and she suddenly felt unafraid to be at the party around all the people and music. She invited him to dance with her, and he looked with hesitation at her. “Come on,” she urged. “If there is ever a time to shake your ass, it’s at your birthday.”

He bobbed his head back and forth in contemplation, and he really seemed to be coming around to the idea despite himself. He looked back at her and met her eyes with his own. It was a moment that caused her to be both certain and questioning of everything. Tom grinned and opened his mouth, but before he could speak a hand was on her back just above the curve of her butt. Sam had some more people for her to meet, and she went.

On the way home, she looked out the window at the few visible stars and wondered for a brief and beautiful moment what it would have been like if she’d met Tom first instead of Sam.

On the Plane

“I love you.”

She answered without a pause, without a hint of hesitation as trees became visible in the window behind her.

“I love you too.”