Humans logo

Interracial Dating

Society's attempt to give love eyes

By Alexa CallawayPublished 5 years ago 5 min read
Like
The marriage of Mildred and Richard Loving (pictured), led to the 1967 U.S Supreme Court ruling that legalized interracial marriage.

I don't discriminate.... but my dating life says otherwise. I have a type that I seem to attract and vice versa. The complexion I go for happens to be in the dark brown range; between Caribbean morenos and/or country morenos. There's no in between. I didn't think much of it growing up, I just found them so damn handsome! I remember in elementary school I had the biggest crush on this Bahamian boy. He had such beautiful pearly whites, dark skin, and gorgeous brown eyes. See, I told y'all my type has been the same since I was a kid.

I didn't think dating outside of my race was a big deal. My immediate family is pretty cool and they support me of whoever I date as long as they make me happy. Once they see some shady stuff, they let me know what's up. But not once did they ever say "I don't like him for you because he's black."

I wish it were the same for my friends but unfortunately it's not. I took the liberty to interview around 50 individuals who were/are in an interracial relationship. The questions I asked where the following:

1. What do you think would be the hardest thing about dating someone outside of your race?

2. Was it hard adjusting to someone outside of your race?

3. What has been some negative comments you've received and/or heard people say about your interracial relationship or interracial relationships in general?

4. What is the advice you would like to or will give to your kids about interracial dating?

If you've never experience it first-hand on a regular basis just imagine the following:

"There's always eyes on us. There's always whispers and pointing fingers when we're walking together or with our son. We always hear the infamous 'We lost another one' line or 'Ella tan bonita y con un negro.' At first it was very hard to deal with it because I was young but now it has made me strong and want to fight for us and other interracial couples. Love is love and love has no color. I always get judged for being pro-black but it doesn't matter to me because I have a son who's half Jamaican and I want to make sure he loves his skin and his black roots."

"The hardest thing about dating someone outside of my race would be trying to understand how they are perceived by others because of their race. I am white and my husband is black and it was hard seeing how he was treated differently because he was black. A lot of people do not think we are together because of our racial difference. It is sometimes upsetting that we've been together for so long that to outsiders, we aren't associated with one another. However, I have learned that people's opinions of my relationship don't matter. I used to take it personal but now I enjoy being apart of something that can change people's perceptions."

"Since I've been with both a white guy and a black guy - as a hispanic woman, I prefer dating a black man. Although we come from different cultures I still think they're more relatable as opposed to whites. My boyfriend doesn't speak spanish but he's able to get by and he's always willing to learn. He understands that my grandparents are super old school and there's certain things that aren't allowed. His parents treat me like one of their own. I haven't come across any obstacles regarding our differences for the most part."

There's so many more explicit answers but I'd rather turn that into a short story than to post it in this blog. I never thought people having preferences to who they're attracted to was a big issue but the legalization of interracial marriage was established only 52 years ago.

Hearing people make shady comments about my partner's race was thrown at me more when I was dating someone of a dark complexion. It was never a problem when I was dating someone with a light complexion because, well for obvious reasons - he looked hispanic. The fastest way to finding out your friends are racist is to date outside of your race. Although we always have those pep talks to ourselves, we must come to realize that an interracial relationship is not like other relationships. We will experience hatred, criticism, as well as hidden racism and it's really important to be aware of the negatives so there's no blindsided moments.

For instance, there have been moments where my partner would get hit on right in front of me and internally I would SCREAM! But apparently common sense is not so common and I like a clean record so I just close my eyes and count to 5.

My favorite thing about dating someone outside of my race is the new things I experience. I absolutely LOVE food and I've learned to not be such a picky eater and explore. I remember the first time I had conch fritters I couldn't stop eating them for a whole week. That was literally all I wanted. It also taught me how to be on time for (certain) events and how much I love family BBQs. Well, of course I learned about their family history, where they came from, how they got their last name, stories passed down from generations prior and so much more.

Dating outside of my race allowed me to open my mind to a new perspective and be more open to all kinds of relationships. I am more accepting of a lot of rare things and I don't think many are able to experience that because they'd rather stay small minded.

Interracial couples, in my opinion have broken the mold and have defied society's standards on dating and understand what is considered to be different in a way that few others can.

Accept diversity but most importantly, embrace it.

dating
Like

About the Creator

Alexa Callaway

Reader insights

Be the first to share your insights about this piece.

How does it work?

Add your insights

Comments

There are no comments for this story

Be the first to respond and start the conversation.

Sign in to comment

    Find us on social media

    Miscellaneous links

    • Explore
    • Contact
    • Privacy Policy
    • Terms of Use
    • Support

    © 2024 Creatd, Inc. All Rights Reserved.