Sex is a strange thing. As someone who has spent a large chunk of their life doing it for a living, I can safely say that some of the most intimate, sexual and satisfying things for me don’t involve a penis entering me.
For me personally, the act of sex is just that, an act. It can be done with the absence of intimacy, passion, love, feeling, or even pleasure. lt is the other things that someone adds to it that make it a special act. Of course, I can’t speak for all women, and before porn, I was very much the girl that could only have sex if I was in love/lust with the person in my bed. Now, it takes a lot more for me to feel that connection, that intimate moment with my partner. The way I am touched shows me how someone feels towards me.
Here are some intimate ways that us girls want to be touched, that have NOTHING to do with sex:
Your Hand On My Thigh:
This for me says, you are mine. It asserts dominance in a non-aggressive way and shows others that I am well and truly taken. It is also protective. For me, this is one of my favourite things my boyfriend does. If he feels we are in a tense situation, maybe I am uncomfortable, his hand on my thigh is a reassuring non-verbal way of saying "I am here." As a submissive by nature, my man taking a dominant and protective stance is INCREDIBLY alluring. Some women prefer to be the dominant. I am in control in every aspect of my life, I own my own property, I am my own boss, and I make my own money. I don’t need "looking after," but in the bedroom and in love, I like to submit. Something as subtle and powerful as my man’s hand on my thigh in public makes me melt.
Your Finger Tips On The Nape Of My Neck:
It sends shivers down my spine just thinking about it, the gentle tickling of fingers on the nape of my neck, underneath my hair, a dusting over the top of my spine where the bones stick out most. It makes me feel weak. My neck is one of my most sensual and personal areas, even more intimate to me then what lies in my knickers.
Touching My Face When You Kiss Me:
A finger under the chin, to tilt my lips up to his. A gentle stroke of my cheek as we kiss. Brushing the hair from my eyes. Taking both sides of my face in his hands and pulling me closer. It makes the kiss even more special and intimate. I love kissing. Anywhere and everywhere, I'm super into PDA, be it a gentle kiss with a slight stroke of my skin or a hard, passionate, long kiss holding my neck and face close.
Your Hand Locked In Mine:
I LOVE holding hands with my other half. It’s so personal. It’s intimate in a way all on it’s own, your fingers intertwined, almost tying you to your partner. It’s a sweet but casual way of asserting affection and closeness to someone. You can do it absolutely everywhere, walking the dogs, going for dinner, waiting for the bus, or even sitting at home watching TV.
Eskimo Kissing In The Cold:
I live in London, which boasts… a lack of summer, an abundance of rain, and very busy, generally miserable, Brits. But, to our advantage, we know how to Christmas. November through December in London is my FAVOURITE time. I love the cold and wrapping up warm, and mulled apple cider, and winter wonderland, and Christmas shopping. And most of all, I love the romance surrounding this time of year. One of the cutest things to do in the cold is Eskimo kissing, rubbing your cold noses while you look into each others' eyes and drink hot chocolate in the freezing icy weather. It's not as full on PDA as snogging each others face off. It's a more playful, PG way of showing your affection for your partner.
Absentmindedly Stroking My Skin:
Gently stroking my arm or leg whilst texting, or watching TV, or doing anything just shows that, though he may be doing something else, he still has space for me. I'm a needy girl at heart. Although I hate to admit it, I can never have enough affection. I am in constant need of reassurance. Something as small as stroking me gently is just the right amount to satisfy me.
Hugging Me Tightly For No Reason:
I once did the five languages of love test and surprisingly "Physical Touch" was third on the list for me. My boyfriend was shocked because I LIVE for physical reassurance: hugs, cuddles, kisses, hand holding, anything that asserts to the world that I am his or that asserts to me that he wants me. Hugging is one of my favourites. I love to be hugged and cuddled, especially when it’s just random. Being held tightly and made to feel small in your arms — that’s where I want to be.
Your Breath In My Ear:
I have a thing about ears. Much like my neck, ears are a sensitive part of my body. Since I was young I’ve loved to touch my ears, and also other peoples' ears, for comfort. One of my favourite feelings in the world is my boyfriend's breath on my ear. It makes every part of me give in to him. It’s the most sensual, non-sexual thing anyone could do to me. It wins me over, every time.
This needs no explanation. Who DOESN’T love a good spoon? I prefer to be the little spoon, but I don't mind slipping into the big spoon role occasionally.
Letting Me Fall Asleep On You In The Taxi Home:
There is something so vulnerable about falling asleep on someone. I’m sure we’ve all had those mortifying moments on planes or trains where we have fallen asleep and woken up accidentally drawling on a complete stranger. How nice is it, though, when you can lay your head on your partner and fall asleep. It makes me feel safe knowing he is there, like I am untouchable. Falling asleep on him in a taxi home after a night out always makes me nostalgic for when we first met. It reminds me why I fell in love and why this is my happy place.
So, if you want to show a girl how you feel, it isn't all about gifts and sex (sometimes it is, a bit) but the real love is in the detail — the little moments you share that no one else see's.