Introvert to Extrovert

Am I an introvert or extrovert?

Is that a question you've ever found yourself struggling with? It seems like such a silly thing to ask yourself, but if you're anything like me it's not necessarily the question that bothers you, but the constant differences in your mood that confuses you.

For the majority of my life, I've been outgoing. I spoke my mind and made friends easily, without much regard to consequence. That was all an outer-exterior. A few years ago, I felt that exterior become stripped, and was left with my self-cautious and introverted soul to manage. That frightened me at first, as I felt that my outer-exterior was forever lost and I'd be stuck in this odd world of misunderstanding my feelings towards people. Eventually, I noticed that my moods became combined in this limbo between both, where both introvert and extrovert were pushing to make an appearance, and when one didn't win, part of myself would feel incomplete. It wasn't enjoyable and my moods were changing constantly. I felt that I had no control over my emotions towards people and I couldn't present myself as the same to multiple people.

However, through this I've learned (and am still continuously learning) to be grateful that part of my personality isn't shoved beneath coatings of exaggerated confidence and false friendships. I've learned to embrace my introverted side whenever it decides to make an appearance. When I'm feeling confident or outgoing, I can be comfortable with it and embrace the differences I do have. It's not as strange or scary as I believed. There are certain days where a page of written words feel like my only best friend, and I'm more than happy with it. Then there are others when I want to speak to as many people as possible so I can make their day a bit better. There's no rhyme or reason to when or why I have these mood shifts at certain periods, and I am completely comfortable and happy to experience both.

If you've noticed this in yourself, being uncertain of which side to embrace, I encourage you to embrace both. You will find a comfortableness in how certain people in your life bring out different sides of you. This broadens your experiences and understandings to both introverts and extroverts, where you can discover the peacefulness of staying inside and reading a book when it's raining or the thrill of calling a friend to go get soaking wet outside just because. It allows you to be sympathetic to others who aren't able to experience both, and the struggles they go through daily. I've learned so much through being introverted and extroverted.

Many are told that you can't fit in between. That you're "weird" or have a "mood disorder" if it becomes noticed that you have a bit of both. Those assumptions are wildly incorrect. It is beyond me how many posts recommending "behavioral therapy" there are when someone asks if it's possible to sometimes feel introverted and other times extroverted. There are countless people who find themselves in the center of the spectrum and deserve to feel that their emotions are valid, and not something to have to go to therapy for. There is a large difference between mood disorders and ambiverts (the non-scientific name for someone who is both introverted and extroverted). As long as you learn to feel comfortable with it, and come to a place to understand it and that it's not a thing that must be fixed, it should never be talked down upon. People should never feel the need to tell you that you're not acting yourself if you're not feeling super extroverted that day, or that you're being too outgoing despite your regular reserved behavior. If you fall in between the spectrum, I hope you understand that you're not indeed lost, but are interestingly found through the differences in your emotions.

Introvert or extrovert; I've been told that you can't be both. Do you still believe in that idea?

Here's a great article on Ambiverts! It's highly educational and allows you to understand the subject a bit more.

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