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Is Your Relationship Too Slow?

We all know it's not good to take things too fast, but being too slow may be a bad sign, too. Is your relationship too slow to be healthy?

By Ossiana TepfenhartPublished 6 years ago 5 min read
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When it comes to relationships, a lot of your success will be based on timing. After all, there's a reason why guys won't marry until they're "ready," and why relationship experts warn against getting too involved, too quickly.

Most of the time, the relationship advice you'll read involves making sure you're not getting involved too quickly — and that's great advice. Howeer, there's a certain point where your relationship's speed is a sign that things aren't going as well as they should be.

Are you wondering if your relationship is stalled for any particular reason? Is your relationship too slow to be promising? Here are some pretty strong indicators that you may need to start looking for love elsewhere.

You've asked about your status and your future repeatedly, but the question keeps being pushed off to "later."

A good sign that your relationship is not boding well is if your requests for deeper commitment involves how your partner reacts to them. If he keeps saying "maybe later" or just shuts down the conversation, then the question isn't "Is your relationship too slow?"

This is a sign you're being strung along, and being used as a placeholder by a man who thinks he's too good for you. At this point, your best bet is to leave without explanation — and if asked, tell him that you don't feel he's serious enough for you.

Usually after about five years or so, people will take notice that you've been together for a while. A good sign that you may be taking things too slowly is when other people start asking you why wedding bells haven't rung.

That being said, there's a caveat to this. If you or your partner don't want marriage, this doesn't apply. So, is your relationship too slow? Well, if marriage isn't the end-game, or if there's a legitimate reason why you two are putting it off, it might actually be okay.

On the other hand, if you've been getting upset about seeing everyone else walk down the aisle but you, it's too slow — and he might not actually be interested in marrying you.

You're beginning to feel like you have to sell him on commitment.

Oh dear. Speaking as someone who's been there, I can tell you that your relationship may not be healthy anymore. I also can tell you that even feeling like you need to convince a guy to be with you is a great way to make sure you feel awful about your worth.

Is your relationship too slow for comfort? Absolutely, if it's starting to make you feel like you have to "sell" him on being with you or if you find yourself getting depressed about wedding season.

At this point, you have to understand that he's either clueless or just not going to do anything to commit to you. You do not want to be the woman who was with a guy for 10 years, dumps him, then finds out he married someone else within a month.

Stop wasting time with him, tell him what you need if you want to stay with him, and start looking to leave.

Once again, the question here isn't, "Is your relationship too slow?"

Rather, it's if the relationship even exists on a serious level. A man who is serious about you will introduce you to his family and friends — often without even you having to ask about them.

If you have yet to meet any of his family or friends, and it's been over six months, you need to ask yourself if he's legitimately into you. From personal experience, this is a sign that he's not really interested in being serious with you.

Ask yourself if you are looking for a husband or long-term commitment. If you are, you need to look elsewhere. If you're not, it's okay to lower his rank to your designated side piece.

The exclusivity, work, and commitment seems to be lopsided.

Usually, no one can really say the answer to the question of "Is your relationship too slow," except for you. However, there are certain moments where you have to see the relationship from an objective standpoint.

Simply put, if he's still calling you "just a friend" while you're telling your friends about your "boyfriend," there may be an issue. If you're already exclusive with him and he's still "recruiting," then you're definitely going too slow.

Lopsided commitment is never a good thing. Nor is it ever a good thing to be with a guy who never makes his girl feel beautiful. It's okay to look out for your own interests and break it off if you no longer feel happy with him.

Is your relationship too slow? Well, if it's making you unhappy, it doesn't matter what others think. There's a certain point where you have to realize that it's not worth waiting up for him.

If he's making you question your attractiveness, making you feel unreasonable for voicing your needs, or making you feel depressed, it's time to realize he's taking it too slow — and you're not meant to be. In fact, depending on how long it's been, he could be crossing the blurred line between love and manipulation.

A relationship is supposed to make you feel good, not bad. If you don't feel like he's moving at the pace you want to, it's time to call it a day and end things with him. Sure, it might hurt, but it'll hurt a lot less than waiting around for years on end.

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About the Creator

Ossiana Tepfenhart

Ossiana Tepfenhart is a writer based out of New Jersey. This is her work account. She loves gifts and tips, so if you like something, tip her!

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