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It Ended Right When it Started

Jealousy is a bitch.

By Katie HaganPublished 6 years ago 3 min read
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Intoxication. Heart pounding. Lips clashing. Everything that you have ever wanted has become reality. This is it, you have finally decided to show your most vulnerable state of existence to the one you have desired for so long. The amount of emotion being displayed by them has never been presented to you before so you grasp on to it like it is the last breath you have in your lungs. You let your hands roam their body, not knowing his would be the last time you would touch them. Too quickly, the climax of the situation has been reached. You stare into their eyes hoping to see the light of love you all you see is the lack of emotion they had before. They get up and gather their belongings as if they had been waiting to that the entire time and you both go your separate ways.

The next day you wake up wondering if they would even speak about what had just occurred between the two of you. To your amazement they actually mention it but something feels off, it seems more like a joke than something serious. Your heart begins to sink but you still hold on to the hope that it was just because they were distracted by another thought. Then they say it, "What happened should probably just stay between the two of us." Fuck. The dread begins setting in but the deep feelings you still have for them lingers. "Don't break." "Please keep your cool." You keep repeating those statements over and over in your head. "It's okay, I don't have to tell anyone but that doesn't mean that we can't feel the way we did last night again." Telling yourself anything you can to keep yourself from breaking down right then and there.

A few days have passed now. Things seem to be okay but you still can't remove the thought of being so intimate with them from your mind. To them it seems like it was just another night. "I wonder if they even think about it?" "Does it ever cross their mind?" You both decide to go out and spend some time with some friends, hoping that it might serve as a good distraction for yourself. When you arrive to the party they instantly begin flirting with a mutual friend of yours and suddenly you get this burning fire of jealousy under your skin, sinking into your veins, travelling all the way to the depths of your heart. You try to fight it off as much as you can because you don't want it to start showing but it has spread to fast. Jealousy has now turned into pain and anger. You remove yourself from the party and head back home alone.

Glass shattering. Tears streaming. You look down and see the blood streaming from the cuts on your hand. It almost brings some sort of relief, as if it is draining the anger and jealousy from your body. Finally, they drunkenly arrive home from the party. Deep down you are hoping they will ask what is wrong, why you left the party, but with no surprise they treat it like you had been there the entire time. So concerned with themselves that they don't even notice the cuts on your hand. The anger begins creeping back up but honestly, you are just glad they are home. You do everything you can to make sure they are taken care of and get to bed safely then you drag your feet to your bed. Laying there staring at the ceiling, holding back the tears. Maybe tomorrow will be a better day.

To be continued....

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