Humans logo

It's Okay to Cut off People Who Are Being Toxic in Your Life

"Do not allow negative people to turn you into one of them."

By Leslie GPublished 6 years ago 9 min read
Like

I like to be aware of the fact that I am in control of my life. I like the thought of being in control of who can be in my life and who can't. I have had many people enter my life and at first it seems like they are the type of people that I want in my life. But have you ever heard the saying, "you are the reflection of the top five people you surround yourself with"? Well, the first time I heard this saying, I thought I was the most amazing, if not the greatest person there could possibly be. I thought that if someone ever described a person who was perfect, amazing, real, beautiful, and smart then they would be describing me. It took me a long time to realize that I was not that type of person at all, in fact I was the opposite. I don't have a reason as to why I thought so highly of myself except for the fact that I surrounded myself with people who were very great friends at first and then started to convince me that no one else mattered except for them and myself. I was not a good person at all, I was rude, I talked badly about many people on social media and in person, I treated my parents badly and did whatever I wanted without even thinking about how bad it would break my parents' heart if they ever caught me. I had no idea what real friends were, the friends I had were the type of friends that you read about online. The type of friends who are described as, "teens who weren't raised right." I didn't have any friends who were described as caring or loving. I would push anyone who could possibly care about me away because my "real friends" had me convinced that they didn't really care about me and that they were just liars. I didn't think anyone else cared about me. I didn't acknowledge that anyone else could possibly love and care about me the way I cared about myself. I truly believed that if I ever got into a disagreement with my parents or if I ever got into a serious problem then my friends would be there to support me to the fullest. My friends were supportive, they loved to see me doing good in life, but never better than them. One night I grew tired of being the person that I was. It was 4 in the morning and I suddenly had the urge to get my life back together. I told myself that no matter how hard it was, or how long it took, I would finally be the person that I wanted to be. I was tired of disappointing everyone. I was tired of messing up. I wanted to finally give my parents a reason to be proud of me. I wanted them to finally be able to brag about me to their friends and co-workers and not feel forced to do so because the other person started bragging about their kids first as if it were some competition. I was going to be a better person, and as my parents always told me, it all starts with the people I surround myself with.

Realizing That You're Surrounded with Toxic People

I think it took me so long to realize I had to change my ways of thinking and being. In my opinion at the time, friends came before family. I would do them all the favors they asked me to do yet when it came to family, I would refuse to do anything for them. I realized that I wasn't happy. There would be days that I would get home from school and have a break down. I'd be screaming and crying uncontrollably because I knew I was doing wrong. No one would be home as I got home from school though, so I couldn't talk to my parents or sisters. I would text my friends in order to try to let my feelings out differently. They would help me through things but not in a healthy way. The advice they gave me was terrible and they kept telling me that I was doing great in life. I soon realized that I could only depend on myself at this point. Going to my friends when I needed support was fine at first until I noticed that I was only getting worse. I continued to lie to my parents, do bad in school, my grades and attendance were terrible because I truly did not care. I would get upset when my parents grounded me and got me in trouble for doing what I called "having fun." I would complain about my parents to my friends and they told me that my parents are just strict and want to stop me from having a good time. I agreed with them but deep down inside, it angered me when people talked about my parents that way. At the time I never acknowledged this but I had a very soft spot for my sisters and parents. I had done so well of hiding it though, because I was known as the type of person who didn't care about other people's opinions or feelings. I remember wanting to be the type of person who can just not care about what's being said but when I noticed I had finally become the person I wanted to be, I was disappointed. I don't think people realize that having a heart and caring about others and yourself is so much better than not caring at all. People will go through pain and wish that they couldn't feel pain at all, but that it's so much worse than not feeling. I went through so much at such a young age that I began to feel numb after bad things happened. I couldn't feel like I used to, I didn't care to feel any type of emotion. I would constantly hurt people/be rude to people, and my friends would be in my corner cheering me on. My friends knew that I wasn't okay, but they didn't care because they were just fine, they were happy with their lives. It takes time and strength to realize that you have to cut off the people who are causing you pain, and stress in order to be a happier person.

Building the Strength to Move on in Peace

One of the hardest parts of cutting off the toxic/negative people in your life is figuring out how to do it. It may be harder for you because you may be close friends or even family with them. Regardless of who they are to you, cutting them out of your life can send a lot of stress through your mind because you have no idea how to tell a person that they're being really toxic and negative in your life. How do you even tell a person that without them getting mad? I had to cut off the person who was my best friend at the time, and it was the hardest thing I've ever done. As soon as I did it though, it caused problems. She was the type of person who would cause drama whenever she had the chance to. I was then back to hanging out with the people who truly cared for me, and loved me. I felt like the world was against me because things kept going wrong. Nothing was getting better. I thought to myself, "I cut these people out of my life, how can they be causing me even more harm emotionally if they aren't part of my life anymore?" That's the thing about toxic people... they can tell you that they care deeply about you and that they would always be there for you but when you cut them out of your life, some may take it to an extent. The worst part about all of this to me was that the girl I cut off was once my best friend; she knew everything about me. She knew all my secrets, fears, and everything wrong that I've ever done. Soon after I cut her off, practically everyone in my school knew me just as well as she did. I was upset. I didn't understand how someone could treat a person the way they were treating me. I then realized that I used to treat people that exact same way for no reason. I have hurt so many people that I know of, and apologizing to every single one of them seems almost impossible because of how many there are. I knew that they were going to put me through a really hard time. I knew that the next few months of my life were going to be so difficult to get through because they were the type of people who kept the drama going and made it harder each time they started new problems. There was no such thing as moving on in peace with them. I knew that I may never be on good terms with them, and everything that was happening was causing me to feel sadness all over again. I told myself that just because they didn't want to be on good terms and wanted to start all this drama to bring me down, I wasn't going to let them. I told myself that I can no longer be on bad terms with anyone. I wanted to be happy and recover from what I went through. I wanted to move on with the right people in my life and make better decisions. I apologized to a few people that I hurt the most, I apologized to the family members that I cut off. I was constantly going through hell because of the two girls I cut out of my life but I had to get through it. Cutting off toxic people is hard because some may continue to be negative and make your life hard but it is always the right choice to decide that you don't want them in your life anymore. You should never invite toxic people back into your life. If you were close friends with them, you may think about them very often, but you can never forget the things they put you through and how you felt when they were in your life. It's okay to cut people out of your life if you feel that they are causing you nothing but harm, whether it be emotionally or physically.

friendship
Like

About the Creator

Reader insights

Be the first to share your insights about this piece.

How does it work?

Add your insights

Comments

There are no comments for this story

Be the first to respond and start the conversation.

Sign in to comment

    Find us on social media

    Miscellaneous links

    • Explore
    • Contact
    • Privacy Policy
    • Terms of Use
    • Support

    © 2024 Creatd, Inc. All Rights Reserved.