It's Tough Being a Black Movie Star

Today, I read an article on realcoolnation.com about Black Panther star Winston Duke, or M'Baku, and his choice of a dating partner. First, in case you didn't know, I have not seen the movie as yet while I am on vacation in my native island of Trinidad and Tobago. I was elated to know that Winston hails from the sister isle of Tobago. My people are doing big things abroad. I'm also part of the diaspora in Canada where I work as a Supervisor for Nestle. Seeing the sacrifice Winston made to move abroad and his success now resonated with me and continues to motivate me to achieve my dreams. In the newspaper on the island and Facebook, lots of locals were praising him for his success, representing the islands and of course his looks (for the ladies). But as they say, with great success come great hate. The black online folks started dragging Winston about his choice in a dating partner. His girlfriend is Meesh, who is half white and half Asian. For some reason, a Black actor that represented the pride of an African culture in a movie for some reason can only date a black girl. This is not only isolated to him. Other black stars like J Cole and the actor from Marvel's Luke Cage, to name a few, have been dragged for dating lighter skin girls or—let's call a spade a spade—not dating a black girl. This infuriates me because to me it's society's way of telling me who I can date and who I can't. Not sure if you can see my profile picture, but I am of African decent as well (not all Islanders are black FYI :)).

A bit of why this infuriates me: As I stated, I live and work in Canada now. I left Trinidad when I was 18 to attend university in Canada. There I met a whole new spectrum of people who were so welcoming to me. Aside from that, I was bombarded by people who dictated whom I should date. I remember being at a club and my friend saying, "Hey, I got some white girls coming over. I know you black guys love white girls." Another instance, a guy saying, "Hey, there's a black girl I want you to meet. You two will kick it off." And I remember feeling pushed to date this girl. I have had similar interactions with girls of both Asian and Indian decent. The common frustration I always told my friends is how do you know whom I like?

This isn't something that only black guys go through but I am writing based on my personal experience and the experience of my fellow islander Winston. Why is it that successful black starts or actors have to be with black women? Is that what love is? I was not aware love had colour. It's true that some people have a preference which is okay, but when did it become okay to force your ideology on whom I should date onto me? I have dated whites, blacks, Indians, and Asians. It's fair to say that I have no ethnic type. But what is more important, your ethnicity or what you bring to the table? That's what I believe you should look for in a partner. Looking at skin only is too shallow for me but I cannot be ignorant to the social pressures there may be. I have even met the opposite, where I have had a white girl tell me, we should have nice bi-racial babies. As flattering as it should be, I felt offended in that the "relationship" seems one sided to me.

I can't say who I will end up dating and eventually marrying but what I know is that it won't be based on the colour of her skin but based on our love for each other.

I WILL NOT BE TOLD WHO TO DATE!