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Jealousy, the Crippling Emotion

Why am I so upset?

By Denise WillisPublished 5 years ago 3 min read
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What causes jealousy? Is it lack of self-esteem? Many would agree that lack of confidence is a big part of jealousy. When you don't feel very worthwhile or attractive, it's easy to become insanely jealous, especially if you fear you are going to lose someone you love. Below are some symptoms of jealousy and what the outcome of that emotion usually brings.

Isolating the Object of Your Affection

That sounds pretty desperate but believe it or not jealousy can cause desperate behavior. One lady I knew was in her early 40s, and she was living with a man in his 30s. She was so jealous of other women, that when he gave the two older ladies who were in their 60s, a ride to the store and to town, she fell apart. I can't imagine being jealous of a woman who is old enough to be my mother, but this is what happened. She became obsessed with keeping him from being anywhere around the two women (one was 66 and the other was 68) that she began doing things for the older women just so he wouldn't. She didn't pass on messages unless they suited her purposes.

Creating Drama and Telling Lies

Another little trick women of low self-esteem play is to be really nice to another woman's face and then tell lies about her behind her back. Another true life scenario is about three women who worked in a book distributing center. One woman was in charge of collections, one was in charge of payables, and the last woman was the receptionist. She was so nice to everybody, acting like she was everyone's best friend. The truth of it was she was going behind the other two women's backs to the boss and telling him lies. One woman smoked but never more than a quick five-minute break, but the receptionist told the boss she was out there smoking for over 30 minutes at a time, and that she went out every half hour. The woman became so miserable she finally quit, never knowing why her boss was treating her with such disrespect and anger. Once she quit, the lady from payables found out what was going on and she quit as well.

Saying Hurtful Things to the Other Woman

I have seen it all too often. A woman is jealous of another woman, so she goes out of her way to make the other woman feel stupid or ugly. For example, perhaps the jealous woman would pretend to be friendly when her boyfriend introduces her to his high school pal who he can't take his eyes off. So the jealous woman decides to invite her to lunch with them, and all through lunch she is making subtle comments to the other woman about how the styles of clothes have changed and oh, I see you still like the older styles. Or maybe she picked on her job, indicating that she had nothing to be embarrassed about because she was a waitress, all she had to remember was to try and improve herself someday. You know the type, making comments that rip your heart open with a smile on her face. Of course, men never really seem to catch on to this game, so they go about their conversation never noticing the comments, the body language, or the looks between the two women. And if you try to tell them, they get upset and swear they were well aware of everything that was going on.

Sibling Rivalry

Sometimes the jealousy is between two sisters. Maybe one is more attractive or more outgoing so she makes more friends which annoys the other sister. Perhaps the guys are chasing one sister down and ignoring the other sister, causing a lot of self-doubt in the sister that is being ignored, not to mention anger with the popular sister. Sadly enough, I know of two sisters like that only the jealousy never went away when they grew up. They continued the battle well into their old age and lost what could have been a great relationship over silly adolescent things.

Jealousy is also hard on a person's body because it causes stress, which releases hormones that cause weight gain and other problems, such as problems sleeping or eating. If a person is confident in who they are, likes themselves and their own company, and tries to look at every situation logically instead of emotionally, then jealousy should not be a big issue.

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About the Creator

Denise Willis

I love art as much as writing, and when the world feels dark, I get out my paper and colored pencils and draw while listening to music. When my husband and I were going through a divorce, journaling is what got me through that..

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