John and Jane...and Valentine's Day

John and Jane…and Valentine’s Day

Valentine’s Day is quickly approaching which means heart-shaped boxes of chocolate and gooey cards are littering the aisles of our stores and appearing on tables, in mailboxes, and on office desks all across America. (Don’t lie, you’re counting down the days until those boxes of chocolate go on sale, I know I am).

There are different takes on Valentine’s Day of course. We have the people that are all about it, dressing as Cupid, chasing friends with arrows, setting up blind dates, buying flowers, sending cards to everyone they speak to, and aiding in the commercialization of love. Our friend John is one of these people. Secretly, he loves romcoms and watches the floral arrangements at the supermarket with avid curiosity during the first two weeks of February, waiting for the perfect set of flowers for Jane.

Jane on the other hand, is vastly different from John. To her, Valentine’s Day is just another day. She has a slightly less romantic view about it, sticking to her view that it is just a way for stores and greeting card companies to squeeze a few extra pennies out of the lovesick (or helplessly romantic) public between Christmas and Easter. She too enjoys romcoms, but watches them all year long. Unlike John, she would rather show random acts of her appreciation for John throughout the year. To her, Valentine’s Day is just February 14, a typical Wednesday meant to be spent at work and then in pajamas in front of the television.

So how do they handle their different views?

Let’s see.

John took the day out of work to prepare the house for Jane’s return. He cooks her favorite food for dinner and went to the baker in town for her favorite bread. On the table he has a box of chocolates for her (complete with daily pep-talks although she will most likely eat every one in the box during the movie he plans to watch with her), a vase of flowers (red and white roses with pink tulips), and a Hallmark card. Candles are set around the kitchen, flickering flames giving everything in the room a ghostly glow.

He waits for her to come home, remembering the first time they were living together on Valentine’s Day. He had been offended when she chose to work that day, thinking she didn’t appreciate him, and that she didn’t want to spend time with him on the day that was meant for couples, that was focused on love. And then she came home, with a smile and a quick kiss. And that was all. There was no card, no favorite snack, and no chocolate. She slid into the house, slipping out of her work uniform and into her pajamas without any mention of the holiday. She saw the card and the chocolates he had brought for her that year too and gave him a smile, but didn’t reveal anything that she had gotten for him. He hid his disappointment behind passive aggressive behaviors (slamming dishes into the sink, leaving them for Jane to wash though they were his afternoon chores, not saying anything when he climbed into the shower, and blowing out candles even though she wasn’t done eating). When eight o’clock rolled around he got in bed without watching the movie he had picked out.

He woke up the next morning to breakfast in bed and a letter left by Jane before she left for work.

Valentine’s Day is just a day, it’s February 14t, another 24 hours during the week.

This year it was a Tuesday, meaning it was slam time at the diner. I came home tired and quiet and just wanted to spend time with you. I appreciated the dinner you had made, the chocolates you left for me, and the candles that you blew out before I finished eating. I loved you yesterday, for the way you had tried, and I love you everyday for all the little things you do. I hope you feel the same way and know that I try to show my appreciation for you throughout the year. On Tuesdays when I’m tired, on Thursdays when I’m sick, on Saturdays when you come home late, and on Sundays when we wake up late arguing over the blanket that will never be big enough for the two of us.

I won’t buy you a card or a box of chocolates, nor will I buy you flowers. I don’t think you like them, if it was Spring I would pick you a handful of daisies and leave them on the table because yellow is your favorite color. But I will pick up your slack when you’re tired (or angry at me), I’ll listen to you retell the same story fifty times because you can’t remember if you told me, I’ll rewatch your favorite movies, and tell you all the horrors of my day. And I’ll share with you my favorite books and artists, my favorite comics.

I love you, I’ll see you in a few hours.

And beneath the letter and with the breakfast she had left her favorite Betty and Veronica comic. John laughed at the clown car as he ate his eggs and stuffed it into his dresser drawer when he was done eating.

This year he planned the date for Valentine’s Day, knowing that she appreciated it even though she didn’t believe in Valentine’s Day. It was just a Wednesday, a day where he chose to show his appreciation for her. She would show hers on Saturday. They would watch his favorite early morning cartoons and then a few romcoms of his choosing. Together they would bake and learn a new recipe. It was her way. It was Saturday, they did the same thing every Saturday. And he was grateful and so was she.

But this year Jane had more planned, as she always did. They did their usual routine, but then she brought out a small flat box wrapped in newspaper. There was no ribbon, no hint of red or pink to be seen. She would never spend her money on something like that, especially not for Valentine’s Day. He opened it to find a poem she had written for him, about daisies, and the loveliness of weeds.

This year, when celebrating, remember that we all have different views and different ways of showing our appreciation. Some people are more vocal about it, others shower you with gifts. Some of us only go as far as offering rides and time when we can. Some of us will take you to dinner, while others will prefer cuddling on a couch with you watching The Notebook and eating Chinese food in our pajamas. Love, though it seems to be sold on the shelves in our local stores, is one of those things that comes across in many different forms. It is an emotion that is sometimes better said through action.

Happy Valentine’s Day to all the John, Janes, and in-betweens. (Or Happy Wednesday).