Just a Little Part of Me

I call you and tell you I need you.

You say where do you need to go meet me?

I say I'm on my way and I will wait for you.

You show up and I tell you it's either you're 100 percent in or let me go.

You tell me you can't be 100 percent in and I said okay, then it's over and done with.

You asked where am I going to go right now. I said I'll go to my friend's house and I'll be okay.

You made the comment saying no, I won't be okay and you won't know that I'm okay.

Funny thing is that I'm no longer your concern because you're not going to be in my life anymore.

I said fine, I'll go get a hotel room and you can spend the night with me then if you're that concerned about my safety.

Then you said no, I'm going to come home and stay with you tonight.

The funny thing about it is I've never been inside your house.

I've never been over there, not even to meet your parents in the past year.

You said you want to make sure that I'm safe, I don't need to be alone, and that you don't want me alone, you want me to be with you. So it's final, I'm staying with you.

So a deal was made, I stay with you one night. The next day you're supposed to leave and be gone forever, out of my life. It was the longest night ever, but you made sure I didn't cry, you made sure I didn't miss my kids, you kept me busy enough to where the pain and the tears subsided. We played pool and you kept me laughing. When it was time for us to sleep, you brought my stuff up and I went in your room and we laid down, it felt so right just being in your arms and falling asleep. It was something I had always wanted. The night was very short, four AM was coming real soon, and after that was going to be the last time I was supposed to ever speak to you.

You were super late leaving because I didn't want you to leave. Your kisses were so amazing, I just couldn't bare not to have one more. So you got up and got dressed, but I didn't hear the truck leave. I'm wondering why haven't you gone and then I hear a noise in the bedroom. It's you, you're still in there with me. I sat up and I feel a wet puddle at the foot of the bed. I have no clue how long you'd been there, how many minutes I thought you were already gone. But you stood there, crying, watching me sleep. You looked and said you know what the deal was supposed to be, but you don't ever really want me to let you go. I kissed and hugged you and said that was the deal we made. I love you. You know I'm always going to love you.

Everything would work out, you'd text me when you got to work and tell me to get some sleep and you would see me later. The whole day passed and you cried the whole time until you saw me again just four hours later. A lot happened in that week, tons of heartache and a painful goodbye, but then a letter came and it wasn't goodbye. Since then, for a year, you never let me go and stayed by my side.

Maybe it's meant to be, and if it is we will find a way back to each other. Over the past two years we have had our ups and downs, we both know that's true. We went through so much and had so many new experiences with each other. I don't believe that was just a coincidence. I believe we were meant to find each other. I wrapped my arms around you and told you I would wait for you forever. As you would say forever and I would say always. Forever and always, that's what you promised. David Dakota, you have my heart and nothing will ever change that, promise.

A year and a half later and we are still here, still fighting... that deal never came to pass, we tried and failed, but the saying goes: If you let it go and it comes back to you, it is real... so grab on to it and never let go.