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Keeping the Flame

Loving Your Husband When You Don't Always Feel Like It

By Deidre SimpsonPublished 6 years ago 3 min read
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We've all been there, admit it. We look at our spouse and feel such anger or resentment. I can't tell you how many times I've held my tongue and kept it quietly inside me, especially after having a baby. It's so hard to overcome, and you look at others and think "how on earth are they always so happy?" It can be exhausting to watch. I remember though, to choose to love him regardless of a small feeling I may have in one instance. I chose to love him because he's such a good man, the love of my life, and the father of my child. He provides for us, cares for us, and is dependable. I'll never forget watching him hold our little girl when she was just born and seeing the love he had for her and our family. He's given me a lifetime of happiness and love. So, when he makes a mistake, or puts his laundry one foot away from the hamper, I chose to stop and breathe and remember just how great he is, and I chose to look past it. I chose to stop and remember every wonderful thing he did, does and will do, for us. I love when he rubs my feet or back even though I never do it for him. It's a 100/100 team effort to make a marriage work. I do things that he can't do, and he does things for us that I can't do.

That's the hardest part: choosing to love through it. Trust me, there are times that I don't think I'll be able to do it, and times that I want nothing more than to throw in the towel. But I know in the long run, he's an amazing man. We all must focus on the future and the big picture. We must choose to remember what all he does and just take a break and breathe. Is getting mad over this five minutes of extra work or tasks worth an argument or making him feel emasculated? Is it worth having anger take over? Just remind yourself: you never get this time back. It's not worth getting upset over for five minutes.

Women are laser focused, and we multitask like bosses. Men though, men are wired completely different. They focus on one task at a time and they don’t usually do well with doing more than a few things at a time. And that is OK. That’s how they are wired. There so many things they do for us that we don’t even remember because we are so used to them helping us behind the scenes—taking out the trash, mowing the grass, cleaning up after the dogs, the list can go on and on. One thing we can’t forget: they do everything for us out of love. They love us, the love their family. To get mad at them for not being able to do a million things at once like we can isn’t fair to them. They don’t hold it against us when they have to change the bulbs because we are too short. It’s a give and take relationship, you must keep that in mind. They love you, you love them. That is what matters, not the fact you’ve done the laundry, swept, took care of the baby and fed the dogs while cooking supper. NO, that doesn’t matter. What does matter is that he’s home spending time with you, or maybe he’s out earning an income for the family. Either way, he’s got you and your family as the first thing on his mind.

marriage
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