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This is the second article in a series about how to weather the stress of your relationship or divorce and learning to relax. Part one was about breathing. Hopefully that helped you start the relaxation process. However, there are a lot of people emailing me and asking me how I can have such a positive attitude when my divorce isn't even over yet. I just have one word to tell you, faith. I have a lot of faith that everything will work out and I will be where I need to be. I have a lot of faith that when this is all over that I will see God's plan. I have a lot of faith that I will heal from this.
How do you get that kind of faith? Well that is something that cannot be taught. I cannot even begin to try and put it into steps or help you in any way to have something that is not already in you. I know that doesn't sound very hopeful especially for the beginning of an article. But hope is one thing I can give you and maybe through that hope you can find your faith. How can I do that?
I was actually going to give you stories from readers that might help you, but I decided instead to offer some knowledge, or rather ways that might help you find some light at the end of that tunnel.
One of the ways to do that is to use journaling. With a journal you can look back and see where you were instead of trying to remember. You can read through each page and compare it to where you are now. You can see how much you have grown from one day to the next and realize that you are moving forward. It is something physical that documents that movement for you and gives you something to hold on to. So, for part two we are going to talk about journaling.
Keeping a diary or a journal is also a great way to relieve stress. It gives you an outlet for all the things that may be keeping you awake and/or stressing you out. You should keep your journal next to your bed or in a spot that you like to sit and relax. Sometimes it is better if you keep it somewhere no one will be tempted to read it so that you feel like it is all yours.
All of us have secrets, ones that we don’t even like to tell ourselves; journaling is a way to get it out. Just start by writing things that have happened during the day and let yourself go. Write about everything that happened and how you felt about it. It doesn’t matter if you have journaled before or not, you will get better and better at letting out what is inside the more you do it. Each day you should be able to get more out. Letting out all those stresses hidden in the recesses of your mind. Pretty soon you will be at a point where you will see that there are things in your life that bothered you and you didn’t even know it. It will help you to prioritize those stresses and get them into place. I always tell my kids that sometimes things aren’t worth the energy that we spend on them.
Journaling or keeping a diary will help you to find those things and get rid of them. It will also help you to list the things you do need to take care, clearing your head for a more restful sleep. Another thing it will do is help you to be prepared when you need to handle things and tell people how you felt about something. You will have already written down what you thought and how you felt, making it simpler and more organized.
Deciding to learn to relax is a choice that is hard to make because we usually feel like relaxing takes time. It does, but you would be surprised what a little relax practice will do. The more you practice the better you will get and the less time it will take to get you there. So, all you need to do is make the decision to start doing it, and just do it. Once you have started it will be a welcome change. You will learn that each day you have gotten better. You will learn to have some faith, by looking at yesterday and realizing you made it through, by finding hope.
Going through a divorce or separation seems to take up a lot of our time. We have more things to do without the extra person around and now we have just added court hearings and other conferences on top of it. Learning to take a few minutes a day to ourselves will help with those stresses so we don’t get lost in the clutter.
Thank you for reading my article today. Maybe it will help you have more hope about your future. If you would like to share your story you can comment below or send me an email at [email protected] or find me on Facebook, I would love to hear from you. Come back often and check in for ideas, advice or to share.