Leave Me Alone!

When I first met you, I thought you were the best thing to ever happen to me, but I realised I shouldn't have put so much trust into you. The first five months of our relationship were amazing, and you made me feel so special. I just don't get what changed. I don’t get why you changed.

From July 2012 to December 2012, I remember spending so much time with you, learning about you, starting to trust you. I wish I knew then that it was all a waste of time. After December I barely heard from you and I don't know why. I would call and text you every day, sometimes more than once, just praying that you'd reply. Months went by until I finally heard from you, and you told me you didn't want me anymore.

I had put up with so much with you. I had to deal with your jealous ex-girlfriend telling me you were the father of her child, which I know wasn't true. I still had to deal with all her horrible messages, though. I had to accept your lifestyle, even though I didn't agree with it. I had to put up with your little "tests" of loyalty, where you would catfish me. I always forgave you for that and you still threw it all back in my face.

I started to get over you, but you started contacting me again. This happened so many times, and I forgave you every single time. I was weak and in love, at least I thought I was. Over the next five years, the same thing happened constantly. You made me feel like I was nothing to you, but a few weeks later would tell me how much you missed me. Your favourite line, "You have a special place in my heart," would get me every time.

I started getting stronger and more confident, and you hated that. You wanted me to go back to the same weak little wreck that I was when we first met, when I depended on you, when I couldn't cope without you. You hated that I had become independent and could stand up to you. I wasn't going to let you treat me like that anymore. I finally realised I deserved better.

I was always ready for the next step and you would use that to get me back, but once you got me you'd say it was moving too fast. I decided I wasn't waiting anymore. I wasn't going to let you hold me back and turn me into the weak person again. I don't need you in my life.

Yes, I was madly in love with you once, and I still remember the good times we had. The fact is, though, the bad times outweigh the good, and that isn't something you can build a future on. You need to leave me be, let me move on. I'm finally on my way to happiness. Why can't you let me be happy?

You need to stop calling me, because I won't answer. I'm never going back to you. I'm happy where I am, and I won't let you ruin that. I’m not going to pretend that I know what I want from life, but I do know that I don’t want you. I deserve so much better. I deserve to be treated like a queen, and I know you will never be able to do that. You can’t stand the fact that I am strong and independent. I don’t ever want to hear from you again. Just leave me alone!