Lessons from Relationships

If they don't respect your opinion, they don't respect you. It doesn't matter your gender, age, or religion, your opinion is valid and should be heard. It doesn't matter if they don't agree with your opinion, it should still be respected.

Arguing doesn’t need to happen, period.

Compromise is needed, but there are things that you should never, ever compromise. Where you guys eat, go on vacation or how many dogs you have—these are all compromises that are healthy. Compromising your happiness, freedom, and morals are compromises you should never make. If you compromise your happiness for a relationship, hunny, you lost yourself to a monster.

Picking your significant other up when they can’t stand is admirable. But do not pick them up, pick yourself up, and hold the relationship together single handedly. If they need all of that to happen, they aren’t ready to be dating anyone.

“Love is blind” is true. When you’re in a bad relationship; red flags are ignored, you put up with utter nonsense, and you choose to convince yourself that you’re just being crazy instead of listening to your gut feeling. Making excuses for someone is just enabling their behavior. Making an excuse for a red flag is you not wanting to see and believe the reality. When you fall in love, you only see what you want to.

It’s okay to fall in love with someone’s potential, but don’t use it as an excuse to stay in the toxic relationship. If they continue to manipulate you then, sweetie, it’s not love. If they continue to bullshit their way through change, the same problems are still relevant, and you’ve done your part then it’s time for you to walk away. It’ll be hard to walk away, but I’d rather walk alone than with someone who will push me in front of the first car that drives past, then blame me for it.

Stop sending long paragraphs after they hurt you. They don’t care and nothing you say will guilt trip them into caring. Nothing you send will get read so, don’t waste your time writing a novel. Take your dignity and go eat chocolate covered strawberries.

You don’t need another human being to make your life complete. You don't need another half to be whole because you're already whole. You have everything you need and you know yourself the best. Don't go looking for other people to validate your looks or personality or smarts, you'll be let down each time. You'll end up putting up with nonsense from a bunch of clowns because you'll feel like these clowns have control over what people think of you and more importantly control over you. The only person that has that control is you, never give that away.

If you aren’t happy, leave. Putting on a happy face and acting like your relationship is good when it’s on the verge of falling apart 24/7 is exhausting. You were strong enough to let yourself fall in love and give everything you had, now be strong enough to let it all go.

I know you’re scared of heartbreak, but trust me in a month you’ll be grateful for it. At first, you'll have sleepless nights. Staying up until 4 AM trying to distract yourself with The Office. There will be moments of sadness, anger, and confusion. You'll break down on the car ride home because you might've seen a car just like theirs. You'll eventually think you feel okay only to be blindsided. Heartbreak is hard and it's not beautiful, but it will teach you things love never could.

Being in a relationship won't heal you and being single isn't going to kill you. You need to be alone in order to heal, to figure life out, but most importantly to figure yourself out.

Even at your best, you still won’t be good enough for the wrong person. You can be doing literally everything they ask and they still won’t be happy. They might seem needy, when in reality they're entitled. You get caught up in catering to this person, trying to fill a bottomless pit. This other person, your "partner," will just keep coming back with more demands because they think their needs are your responsibility. So there's no room for misinterpretation or misunderstanding, your partner's needs and wants are not your responsibility.

Loving is easy when everything is perfect. It's in the times where things are dark, dreary, and questionable that you have to make the conscious decision to choose love over the doubt or uncertainty.

You’ll eventually say goodbye and you’ll feel lost for awhile. It’ll hurt like hell, but one day you will wake up and you won’t feel that aching, sinking feeling in your chest because you’ll realize your heart has finally healed. You’ll be happy again.

Everyone you meet had a part to play in your story. While some may take up a chapter, others a paragraph, and most will be nothing more than scribbled notes in the margins. But, someday... You’ll meet someone who will become so integral to your life, their name will be put in the title.