Let Free

A wave of depression overcame her. Had a really been 12 months since James had died? This is the first time she had visited the beach since the incident. The memories were overwhelming her. She began to run and didn’t look back, until she reached a rockcliff standing in her way. The white foamy waves were folding at her toes. Her dark blue eyes staring out to sea. All she wanted was James back.

With James she thought nothing could go wrong. They were high school sweethearts. They wanted a house that they could turn into a home. But that had not happened and now it never would. She and James had waited too long, believing they had all the time in the world. She was only 36, and they had known each other for 20 years. But James was gone. He had passed away in his sleep.

Rose didn’t know what to do. She was scared of the pain. Scared of feeling it again, but she was stronger than before. She just needed some time to remember the good memories they had shared.

The sand was leveled free of any footprints. She watched the waves break on the sand so smooth that it made her want to pick up a stick and start to draw. She thought back to James and how much he loved to draw. He was an architect. Often together they would sit on the beach, and he would draw while Rose watched.

The men she had met in the last 12 months were like mascara. They ran at the first sight of emotion. But James didn't. She couldn't help but compare everyone to James. Her heart began to race. The feelings were yet again overwhelming her. The waves sucked away the sand from under her toes.

Rose forcefully entered the ocean. She walked until she could no longer touch the ground. Rose started to cough. The water, falling over her face, it burned. She could taste the salt. Every wave pushed her farther, and farther and father. Until, she was floating. She felt as if all the feelings of hurt and pain were gone. As if they were drowned into the sea.

The cold water was bluey-green and soon became calm. Rose took deep breaths. Calming herself. She was relaxed when beside her a dolphin surfaced. He threw back his head, and started babbling to her. In some odd way she heard James telling her everything was going to be okay. Just as quickly as the dolphin appeared, it disappeared.

Rose turned around and started swimming strongly back to shore. The beach was empty. She grabbed a stick and started to draw on the sand. Later, Rose wandered over to a rock, bent down, and grabbed sand in the palm of her hand. She closed her fingers shut, hoping that the sand wouldn't trickle out. She looked to her left and saw blank sand ready to be written on.

She began walking all over the sand, covering it in footprints. Rose felt calm and in control. She felt the sand underneath her feet. She sat down, and watched the sea roll wave after wave, up onto the beach. She felt James's presence with her as the birds chirped above.

The sun was hot on her face as the breeze blew her hair. Rose took one last look at the blue sea and said, "I'll be back soon, I promise."

She could feel James's love. She embraced the incredible power that love gave her. Rose knew that the loss of James had left a hole in her heart but now believed she had the strength to rebuild that hole. No longer would she avoid the places where they had spent so many happy hours. The mood had shifted. She had the strength to move on, but to never forget, James.