Let Yourself Be Saved

There is strength in vulnerability. This is a statement not many people can make confidently, especially pertaining to themselves. The way we have been raised, it is a default to embody the lone warrior role in difficult situations.

A few months into homelessness I still was determined to make it on my own, and I continued to scrape my way across town. I walked through the snow all day every day. I limped to work with my bruised feet to make pizzas, so fortunately I was able to finesse food when I needed to. Eventually I was given less hours because of how sick I got from eating so little. Walking became a lot harder as I became weaker.

I was sleeping inside a church in town that was left unlocked at night. I’m not a church guy, but this was the only place with consistent heat that was clean, and where I would not get bothered. I would usually arrive around two AM, and I would lay down in a pew and fall asleep. It was always the left side, fifth from the back. I have no idea why, I had to bring my weird Gemini moon humor into it. I would wake up either to this dude that always cleaned up who didn’t really care I was there, or to church starting because I forgot it was Sunday. Yeah... that happened a couple times.

Someone who worked at the church left me notes with gift cards for food, and left me a sleeping bag and blankets so I would be warmer. The blankets got stolen a few nights after they were put out for me, but I held onto that sleeping bag for dear life!

One night I arrived at the church and eased myself with difficulty into the pew. I was in pain, I hadn’t eaten in two days, and I hadn’t slept a decent night in over a week. I remember acknowledging aloud that I wasn’t sure how much longer I was going to make it before laying down.

The same night, it had to be three AM, and I was falling asleep when somebody walked in. They were stopping at all the pews as if they knew I was there and were looking for me. I pretended I was asleep. Finally they came to mine... and started poking me. I had a hard time continuing to act like I was asleep, and an even harder time keeping myself from bursting out. At the third poke I decided to roll over and see what was going on.

A woman was standing over me with a bag. She explained to me that she had noticed I would come here sometimes, and figured I was hungry, and she had brought me food! I wasn’t so mad about being poked anymore. I was amazed that she had done this! She continued to bring me food while I got myself together over the next week, and I got my hours up at work so I could provide for myself. Soon I was as healthy as I could be given the situation, and I began taking greater steps to better myself beyond what my perception could see before!

Indeed it is important to develop strength enough to lead your own life and become aligned with your individual frequency, but when it comes to situations we truly cannot conquer, allowing yourself to receive assistance from people to succeed is never the worst thing to do. Something as simple as saying yes to a stranger or a friend who really cares about your wellbeing, especially when you are not in a position to say no, can help you get where you need to go in life to succeed. It can even save your life. My contact info is in my bio if you are going through anything similar, please reach out if you need help finding direction! I have beat this game many times! Don’t take the unconditional love of an empathic soul for granted. There is strength in vulnerability.