Letter to Her...

To Her,

This is no letter of wondering how you're doing or asking how your love life is. This is me wanting to tell you everything I know I will never get to tell you to your face. Honestly, you're a great person...you're just as sweet and amazing as everyone made you out to be. And for that reason I never wanted to talk to you, because I knew if I did, then I would realize why everything that happened with you happened. You're so much better than I am, there's no doubt.

About a month ago you contacted me, and of course the subject was about...Him. The one who is the love of my life, and you told me that you "love" him. You said you felt that I should know that and that we needed to come to an understanding. You wanted to know if we were still together...I told you the answer to that was now completely up to him because I had done something to hurt him and of course I won't tell you what that was...

During the whole conversation, I had mixed feelings about you, as you would continue saying things such as "I'm very much like him," and how you wish that he treated you the way he treats me—like a "Princess..." saying how you felt everything that came out of his mouth was a lie and how you're always the last to hear about things because he doesn't tell you anything...We said a lot that night...both sharing how we met him and when we started to fall for him, what we started to fall for. In all honesty, everything you'd said reminded me of how I "loved" someone back in my freshman year...it feels like you may never get over them, but trust me, once you do, you wonder why you thought you couldn't in the first place, because it's easier than you think. The whole matter of it is just letting go, especially when you know when they belong to someone else...when they're someone else's "person." That's what you told me, right? That he's MY person, along with how you know that you need to let him go but you didn't want to hurt him...but here's the thing, and I told you this before...if you EVER feel like being with him is wrong and if you ever doubt it for even a moment, then you need to let go. Yes, I know what it's like to want to hold on to that fantasy in your head when you're with them. I've been there before and I'm telling you, it's not worth it. I found my person, and that's him. And you...you need to find someone else, even still, as we're no longer together. You need to stop trying for him because I'm not done fighting for him.

Last I heard, you two are no together, and maybe that's my fault, because last we talked, I told you that you owed it to yourself to tell him how you felt, and you owed it to yourself to let those feelings out and hear what he had to say. That was the day before he told me we weren't together anymore...but I'm telling you this...if you know what you told me to be true—that he's "my person" and that "he loves me more than anything, with all of his heart, he loves me"—then why are you still trying to have something that isn't yours? Why are you holding onto an imaginative fantasy with someone who isn't yours when you could have a perfect paradise of a reality with someone who was actually meant for you? Because I can tell you this—He's not yours.

I may be out of the picture, relationship-wise, but I'm not done fighting for him, and you need to know that. I'm sorry, but like you said...he's my person. And yeah, maybe you do have him right now, and who knows, maybe I may never get him back, but until the day he tells me that there is absolutely no hope for us to happen again, I'm not backing down. I still have hope for the future me and him talked about. He's still my person. I believe that, and if you know that to be true like you said, then you need to let him go.

Sincerely, His