Life Adventures

I’ll start by being straight up with you. You’re going to get your heart broken more than once as you move though life. Hell, it’ll probably happen as many as 10 times or MORE before you finally find the one person who does nothing but make you happy. I haven’t been on this Earth for very long in the grand scheme of things, and I feel sometimes like I’ve experienced enough heartbreak to last me the rest of my life. One thing that has kept me through it is one word. "Temporary." As in, having your heart broken is only one little part of your life that goes into the bigger picture of the person you are supposed to be. Everything leading up to that point is only temporary.

If you're like me, then you're one of those people who grows attached and falls in love FAST. It's a dangerous flaw, and there are always those who know how to exploit it in all the worst ways possible. It's nearly impossible to avoid them, almost as if they have a sense that says they can have their way if they do and say all of the right things. No matter what you do, you can't avoid it. That's the truth. The first time isn't the worst, either. Each and every time, it hurts more and more and you feel like the cycle isn't going to end. If you're someone who needs the hope right now, then I highly suggest you keep reading. I promise you that I'll show you the way back to being happy.

The first time my heart was ever broken was in my junior year of high school. I met a guy who was a lead guitarist in a band (I know... red flag number one). He was so genuine and real and sweet and the next thing I knew, I was blurting out to him that I loved him. The whole relationship moved way to quickly for the both of us only being in high school. You may laugh at this, but not only was he my first time, he was also my first kiss. With that being said, you can probably imagine how attached I grew to him. At the time, I truly believed that he was The One and there was no one who was better for me.

About three months in is when the true side of him actually came out. He became more and more sexual with things, hitting me up out of nowhere asking for pictures or sending dirty messages. It made me very uncomfortable, but most of the time I did what he asked because I was completely in love with him. It wasn't healthy. No matter what anyone else tells you, relationships DO NOT have to be sexual to work and be healthy. Yes, being attracted to your partner is something you want, but having a relationship that revolves around sex or other sexual things is not good for either of you. Especially when it comes to yourself, if it's not the type of person you are. I know it's not the kind of person I am.

A little after our 4 month anniversary is when he cheated on me, I guess because I couldn't give him what he wanted anymore. Not only did he just cheat on me, he cheated on me with a girl who called herself my best friend. I know, it's a total high school drama infused love story. I found out about it the next week at school, and it felt as if my heart shattered into a million pieces. I mean it when I say this—it physically hurt my chest. I didn't get over it for months and I made a complete turn around in my behavior and my attitude towards others. I was depressed. I came directly home from school and locked myself in my room, only talking to my family when I absolutely had to. I shut a few of my friends out when I should never have done that. It was rough.

What pulled me out of it was, you probably guessed it, another guy. This one was no better than the one before. It just started out so great that I let myself go with it and be happy, even if it was for just a short time. This one was in the middle of my senior year of high school. He was one of the first friends I made when I switched schools. He was fun to talk to and be around. It was easy to forget about the hard things when around him because the things he said and his smile just made it all disappear from your mind. I thought that I could trust him when he asked me out.

During the last month of our relationship, right before I moved back to Georgia, he completely ghosted me for about a week and a half. It hurt, really bad, also considering that he was the first one to say "I love you" and had also been previously trying to convince me to move in with him. He even got his mom to try and convince me. Turns out, while he was ghosting me, he was talking to another girl the whole time and didn't have the guts to tell me about it first. I was the one who confronted him about it. It ended horribly, mainly with myself in tears for hours because I was so frustrated with myself. I thought it was my own fault, because I let myself trust him.

I completely lost hope in finding someone after that. It seems like two little things, I know. There were a few other things with guys that happened in between, mostly either being used or being ghosted instead of told the truth. It took me a year to get back to the person I was before, a year filled with counseling appointments and medication to deal with my anxiety and depression. There was one thing that my counselor said to me that really turned my life around and that's the word that I mentioned before, "Temporary."

It's a silly thing, using one little word to move on through life being mentally and emotionally healthy. But it helped and that's what I want to share with all of you who are either in a bad relationship right now and a little scared to leave because you don't want to be alone, or those of you who are in the spot I was dealing with my depression. It's crazy how the smallest thing can pull you out of that pit and give you hope for things getting better.

All of the bad things in life are temporary and you absolutely have to remember that. In the grand scheme of things, we are only on this earth a short amount of time, and I believe it's worth it to put the past behind you and live every day to the fullest. Just let yourself be happy. If you spend every day for the rest of your life pining over the past, you're never going to be happy. It does take work, and you also have to be willing to put in that work. I'm happy now. I'm with someone else, and we've been together for almost a year and a half now. It's not perfect, but we make it work.

There always is a better future, a better person who will make you happy no matter what. Don't let yourself believe that you don't deserve anything else. Everyone deserves to be treated with kindness and love and respect, regardless of what you've experienced. You have to remember that. No matter what.