Life In An Abyss

Her life was an abyss. Dark, empty and cold. It all started when she was just a little girl. Her mom's dead body lay in front of her with blood everywhere. She was covered in her mom's blood but little did she know that would be the last time she would see her mother. You see, she was only five years old. So she really couldn't comprehend what was going on around her. All she knew was that now she had to listen to her brother. He was nine and her role model. The only thing he told her was that she had to change her clothes. So she did. And while she did that, her brother placed a blanket over their mother. Then this tall man came inside the house a couple minutes later. He acted as if everything was okay. We did the same, too. We said nothing. We lived life as normal people. The only difference is....normal people do not have a dead body in their home. It took a while before people actually knew that our mother was dead. But the tall man got arrested and mommy had her body burnt.

She grew up confused not knowing what had happened. This went on until people finally decided to tell her, piece by piece, what happened. She got diagnosed with major depression and PTSD when she was in the sixth or seventh grade. Her brother started hitting her when she was about 10. But she loved him because he was her brother. At age 12 she met this nice guy who changed her frown into a smile. He was her best friend. But then he changed. He started beating her at least four to five days a week. Then it turned into an everyday thing. But she loved him. He was her best friend. She said to herself, "nothing could get worse." Boy was she wrong. At age fourteen, he raped her. She kept quiet. She told nobody until a year later. At age fifteen, he raped her again. She got pregnant that time. She was scared, so she got an abortion and cried herself to sleep for almost two months. At age sixteen he raped her for the last time. Now you're probably thinking, why she would let that happen three times? Well, the answer to that is very simple. He put the greatest amount of fear in her heart. Another reason was because she felt very guilty. She felt broken and weak. She was a shattered mirror. She was the abyss. Her life was hanging by a thread. She was suicidal almost every single day. Sad part is, she struggled in high school every day.

Somehow and some way she graduated. She was getting better. She was opening up more to her father. She still was having difficulties trusting people, but she knew she had at least two great friends to count on. She is now in college and she's only eighteen years old. She is me. And now there is light in that abyss. She has finally been saved from the demons of the dark. She has been saved from herself and the demons in her head. The abyss is not bottomless, empty or cold anymore. It is filled with love and support. That is how I survived the fight of the abyss.