Life of an Empath

I hate labels.

Labels are a way for people to make themselves feel like they understand something when they really don't. Nevertheless, there are similarities among us, and words are allowed to help us identify a group with those similarities. The word I'm talking about now is someone we like to call: "empaths."

'Empath' is technically defined as: "a person with the paranormal ability to apprehend the mental or emotional state of another individual." I wouldn't disagree with this definition. I'd say that being an empath means to embody a high level of empathy and to have a clear understanding of emotions, or high emotional intelligence.

If you have one around you, appreciate them. If you are one, kudos to you because this is not a world for us. We have qualities and traits that are definitely beneficial. But being in this world that we're in, we're always fighting for this part of ourselves because it feels easier to just let it go. If you don't know what's like for an empath, allow me to explain.

High Awareness

As an empath, you are always aware of what's going on emotionally. You can easily tap into your feelings or someone else's feelings. You're aware of your buttons as well as the buttons of those around you. You never need someone to tell you how they're feeling because you already know.

You may have knew before they even knew. When you know what makes someone tick, you can see it coming before it happens. I'm always seeing things a mile away within my people. I know when my sister is going to be happy or upset before it happens. I'm aware of when my girlfriend is going to be feeling good or agitated before it happens. I know exactly what my nephew's buttons are so I'm able detect things ahead of time.

Unlike other people, this awareness is always with us. We can't just hit the 'off' button on emotional intelligence because it's apart of who we are. We're constantly noticing and detecting the energies around us. Maybe we'll need details, but we never have to be told that something's going on because we'll have already felt it.

High Understanding

Having a high level of understanding means we know that everything comes from a place. If someone gives me crap, I'm not going to lose it because I know it had nothing to do with me. It has everything to do with the person and how they're feeling. When a man has a bad day at work and comes home with an attitude towards his child, it's not the child's fault. That attitude is a creation of his feelings about his day at work. As empaths, it is damn near impossible to piss us off because we always understand.

When we get hit with shit that we didn't deserve, we're not going to return that same energy. We know we're not the real reason that they are acting that way. When we understand that this is coming from somewhere else, we realize that we won't help by getting back at them. We choose compassion. We choose forgiveness. We choose understanding.

It's so hard for us to retaliate because of our level of awareness. Other people can do it because they either aren't aware or they are but chose to ignore it. We'll never choose ignorance. We're not here to add to your pain. We're here to help put it to rest. If that means we take your shit even though we didn't deserve it, then that's the way it has to be.

High Empathy

I'm pretty confident that no one can feel more than we can. Not only do we detect the feelings of another, we can feel it like it happened to us. We may not fully understand what happened, but we got enough for it to hit us somewhat like it hit them

Generally, our ability to feel is at a high level. I don't talk about it to anyone but I can tear up in a second. It can happen while I'm listening to music, thinking about how much my family has done for me, or thinking about what a stranger is going through. If it can hit me, I'll probably end up shedding tears. If it isn't tears, I'm always getting the chills. When I hear a song lyric, something someone said, or read a line that hits me, I'll feel this warmness or chilling sensation throughout my body.

Low Exposure

As an empath, you're not allowed to lash out. Other people may get to let their anger take control of their words and actions, but we can't. Energy is contagious and we'll never push negative energies into the world, even when it's happening inside of us.

Instead of lashing out, we shut down. Out of courtesy to the ones around us, we'll shut down to keep our negative energy from spreading. That means you'll never see me enraged, angry, or frustrated. You'll never see me take my problems out on someone else. My inner turmoil has nothing to do with you so do you think I'll let it harm you? Absolutely not.

What this does mean is that there's not much exposure of our inner stuff. For one, we won't put a burden on someone who had nothing to do with it. Second, we look to only push positive energy into the world. Not to say that we ignore our issues because we don't. We will deal with the problem but not until we are back in a neutral state of mind. In a neutral place, we're not under the control of the negative energies that could make us say or do things that we'll regret later.

"Gift and a Curse"

I identified this lifestyle as a "gift and a curse" because it's true. I truly hope that you have empaths in your life because we do have a gift: the ability to love. Compassion, understanding, and awareness helps us to choose love over hate time and time again. This is the difference between making something worse and putting the conflict to rest. There are too many problems unnecessarily coming about because people are choosing hate. They want to have a sense of victory, so they take action to receive it, by any means. This causes breakups, divorces, ended friendships, and other unfortunate occurrences that could've been prevented! So being an empath has its gift, but it also has a curse.

I truly believe this world wasn't made for us. People are living everyday slaved by ego and greed, looking to take advantage of people like us. They'll do us wrong just to be forgiven and free to do it again. Without a conscious, we have the ability to do horrible things and more of us lack it then those that have it.

What we need, as empaths, is a balance. Continue to choose love, but don't get taken advantage of. I will not let my kindness be taken for weakness or as means to manipulate. Not everyone is to be treated the same. Choose love when you can, but know to reject manipulation when you see it. It's always the people who can benefit from you in some way. We can detect an ego in a second, so once it's detected, adjust accordingly.

We exist to bring change.

Although this world wasn't made for people like us, that doesn't take away our purpose for existing. This isn't backed by any sort of tangible evidence, but I believe that we exist in this world to help make a new one. We're not meant to be living out of fear, dictated by our egos. We're not meant to be divided as people based on factors like the color of our skin. We've settled into these realities that were never truly meant for us.

As people, we've been falling off too far from where we're truly meant to be, and empaths are part of the effort to bring it back. Hate divides us, damages us, and ultimately poisons our soul. As a result, we are left with the empty feeling that sends us into spiritual destruction. Because we choose love, we symbolize the other side of destruction: nourishment.

Love nourishes the soul, brings us together, and feeds life. We encounter much resistance in this world, but we persist because this is how we're meant to live. Living a life motivated by love has never been easy, and I'm not sure that will change soon. It's hard because people notice it and take advantage of that shit.

I've talked to people who'd only talk to me when they feel vulnerable, and need me for reassurance or some sort of healing, which I'm happy to provide every time. Once they get that healing, they'd go right back into the same daily lifestyle that left them feeling broken in the first place. I certainly wouldn't hear from them again until they're back in that place of vulnerability. Ever had that happen to you? It's a feeling of being used and put into a box where you're only useful when they need healing.

I've had people come to me for favors and help, which again, I'm happy to provide. But the thing is we're not even that close. There are people they're closer with than they are with me, but they know of my compassionate nature. They come to me because they know I'll never shut them out. The matter may not have anything to do with me, but I'll always come through, just out of that compassionate nature. So they'll reach out to me and get their situation taken care of just to disappear once again until they need help again.

Bottom line is that our human nature is commonly noticed by people who aren't of the same nature so they look to capitalize. This world leaves us with a lot of hurt because love contradicts the energy that's most powerful. We persist anyway because love is worth the walk through hell that we're taking on every day. Cheers to choosing love. Cheers to standing tall for what you believe in. Cheers to you.