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Life's Unexpected Visit With Change

Change

By The Amaranthine PenPublished 6 years ago 3 min read
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No two days are ever the same. Life is ever changing, sometimes knocking us to the ground in disbelief, anxiety and anger. We are never truly prepared for the seemingly unwarranted modifications to our daily routines; but life’s changes are inevitable, so we must learn to deal with them with our heads fixed to our necks and shoulders and with the right attitude. Denying change will not eliminate the change. Therefore, we need to be quick on our feet, yet approaching the alteration with a kind of clandestine mindfulness to manipulate or trick the negative, looming effects of the change.

I can’t help but to chuckle to myself, as in the past, change has rubbed me in the ways I mentioned earlier (disbelief, anxiety and anger) - and then some. And quite recently, I experienced a great change. The outcome made me almost numb, but buried deep within, I found an unfathomable peace. This quietness quelled my anxieties.

Separation

However, as we know it, separation can have an unpleasant, lasting effect on us - whether the separation is caused from losing people (in whatever form), our favourite pets or inanimate objects. With separation, the stages of denial are so vividly played out. Now we’re not going to make a fuss as to whether there are five or seven stages. All we know is that we go through the phases in some form or the other. And some folks may even tell you that their encounters with separation or loss don’t always manifest themselves in the usual chronological order.

Disbelief

The propensity to choose the easy way out is as it indicates. Easy! But to the person enduring the loss, we dare not utter such insensitivity; for to him/her, it is far from that. The pain of the separation is so intense that it simply offers temporary relief to tell the heart and mind that nothing has changed.

Anger

During separation, intense emotions are aroused. We see this enacted through abnormal behaviours or words spoken. This is an attempt to delay the actuality of the loss. It serves to shift the emotions, offering yet another temporary relief and sometimes the pointing of fingers.

Compromise

Having an inner conversation with the feeling of separation is another avenue to help deal with the loss. We begin to reason with the change. We tend to ask questions - whether they make sense is another matter. In the phase, we often experience measures of guilt. Still, we ask the questions anyway, and we go as far as to answer our own questions with the hope of garnering a win-win situation.

Relapse

Then, there is the period where the effect of the loss or change takes us right back to square one. We get stuck in our emotions. (I hear someone squealing, but I shall not name any names.)

Depression

Now comes the dance of mental inability to perform at our optimum. It’s that feeling of sadness; loss of interest in the things we once deemed as pleasurable; the lack of self-worth; insomnia; loss of appetite; tiredness and the quality of concentration is significantly altered. (It’s an ugly place to be!)

Reality

Yet, when the dust finally settles, when we have possibly cried our hearts out, we are then able to see clearer. We come to accept the inevitable - the reality of change. There is nothing we can do to reverse the separation or loss, except to acknowledge where we are in that very present moment. We learn, though painful, that we must move on. “I must be resilient; I must fight!” That is what we each belt out to ourselves, as the ordeal will pass; and we must be focused on where we go from our present state. Here, we bid welcome to the precious gift called ‘hope;’ for this hope helps to keep us going strong.

In a Nutshell

As a the voice of wisdom once spoke, "Don’t be afraid of change. You might lose something good, but you’ll gain something better.”

So today, how will you embrace your visit with change? Please share your thoughts.

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About the Creator

The Amaranthine Pen

Introvert, chocolate lover, entrepreneur, poet, writer and poet

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