Long Distance Friendships Are Like Loose Change

Upon reading the title of this post, most of you may be offended. Nobody likes loose change. It's heavy, it's loud, and it takes forever to save up enough to actually be worth anything. As an adult, when you find loose change, it often ends up in a jar or a drawer and is then hidden away until it's full and you finally decide to cash it in.

Long distance friends aren't around all the time. They have their own lives and are often living in a separate state or country. You don't expect them to keep in touch regularly. An occasional phone call or text is good enough for you. These are the unspoken rules of the long distance friendship. Strangely enough, the older I get, the more long distance friends I begin to accrue—and my life continues to get better for it. Here are a couple reasons why I believe long distance friends improve our lives:

1. It's a Reason to Travel

It's a two-sided street. Instead of staying in your own little box back home, having those friends scattered around the country and world is—for some—a reason to get out and explore. Without those friendships in far away places, some people may not ever find a reason to go to places outside their comfort zone.

I took a trip to San Francisco last spring with a friend who I went to college with—just because we both wanted to. I also have a friend who lives in Orlando and who I've visited three times in the past six years. It was when I was visiting her that I actually flew by myself for the first time. In college, I traveled to Pittsburgh for a concert and met up with four friends I hadn't seen in ages.

There are always ways to find one another again and enjoy each other's company.

I currently have friends living in Utah, Hawaii, Nashville, Chicago, Baltimore, California, etc. I know people who will be in Germany, Ukraine, Morocco, China, and South Korea within the next year. These are all places I may not otherwise think about or be willing to spend money to go to. But with a friendly face (or more) in these places, what the heck is stopping me?

Absolutely nothing.

2. It's More Special When You See One Another

If you're someone like me, you don't feel the need to constantly talk to or see people in order to have a positive relationship. Having friends near you is good, of course, but it also increases the pressure to make plans and talk every day. In some ways, it can add strain to the relationship and sometimes can have negative effects.

With long distance friendships, that pressure is eliminated. There is an unspoken agreement that you are both living your own lives and will keep in touch when you are able to. There is no obligation to constantly be in one another's business.

Not only that, but when you are able to see or speak to one another, it improves the quality of the interaction. You don't take advantage of the fact that the person is there. Their presence is a novelty and tends to be treated as such (and vice versa). When you are able to see each other in person, whether it's on your turf or theirs, you end up exploring, laughing, adventuring, and seeing the best parts of their world. The situation is a win-win.

3. It Improves Communication

With long distance friends, it's hard to run out of stories to tell. You're always trying to catch up on one another's lives—and yes, with social media, it makes it easier to stay updated without having to have an actual conversation. But in other ways, social media increases the likelihood that you will stay in touch. One of my friends from college messaged me months ago after seeing I was living in Colorado and asked to meet up. I was traveling to Wyoming at the time and told her it wasn't possible—unless she wanted to meet up in Casper. A month later, she and her husband arrived at my house and we got to catch up. I hadn't spoken to her in almost a year, but in the two days we were able to see one another, we were able to find out what was going on in each other's lives—most of which couldn't be touched on in social media posts.

The same stands true for when you're unable to meet up. It sucks, but we all know that life happens and traveling to see one another isn't always a possibility. This means that whether you keep in touch via phone call or text or FaceTime, etc.—you figure out your own methods of communication and what works for you. You learn what's important to keep each other updated on; you learn how to tell stories that are interesting yet to-the-point; you learn how to reflect on and reiterate your own experiences; and most importantly, you learn how to listen.

So... What does this mean?

The "loose change" part of this metaphor comes in here. Long distance friends won't always be around. Sometimes you can go weeks, months, or years without seeing one another or speaking. And when they do come around, it can be in small doses or big doses. However, no matter how small the doses, they add value to your life. They are there during the times when you don't even realize you needed them. They show up randomly and with little explanation, yet you remain grateful for it. And they are a constant source of change (pun intended) and noise in your life.

I don't know where I would be without those friendships. They are there when I need them. They support me when it feels like the world is against me. They resurface during the moments that I miss them the most—almost as if there's this mental connection keeping us linked.

Long distance friends—as crazy as it may seem—are the friends that are lifelong. The minute you decide you want to keep someone in your life, regardless of time or distance, is the minute you gain an endless source of loose change. And yes, of course it takes effort, but when you find a friendship that can stand the test of time and distance... count yourself lucky.