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Long Distance Love

Finding Your Love Online

Photo by Victoria Heath on Unsplash

Online dating seems to be the "in thing" these days. But for me, I personally don't like it. After being single for nearly 14 years, due to several previous abusive relationships, I decided to try online dating. I didn't go seeking a date, he just popped up.

In the beginning, I refused him like 50 times, but he was persistent, and kept trying. I eventually gave in, and began chatting with him via Messenger, and then we began face-timing. He has been there for me three years faithfully, day-in-and-day-out; as well as, I have been there for him. Yet, I still don't really care for online dating.

One of the pros of long distance dating is, you get the opportunity to become friends before becoming lovers. You get the chance to learn in- depth details about each other; as well as your likes and dislikes, along with other intimate details that could make or break a relationship.

Thus far, what I have learned about online dating is that you must exercise a lot of trust in your partner, while at the same time, excerpt a small amount of that trust, as a shield of protection for yourself; after all, this is a long distance relationship. You have to keep in the forefront of your mind that 'You still haven't physically met the person or been around them to decipher their energy'.

Long distance dating can be arduous, especially if you aren't financially capable of traveling at your leisure. The burden of travel can be frustrating for the both of you, if you live paycheck-to-check. So, keep that important part in mind; however, don't allow it to be a deterrent from your love. You both should plan ahead, and save for that special day.

Another important factor in long distance relationships is that you have to remember that although you and your partner face-time, there is a chance that they may only show you the part of their life which they want you to see, while intentionally withholding major factors from you. This is when you must be very observant, and question everything.

Pay attention to details such as: Do they show you their family members?, Have they given you a virtual tour of their home? Neighborhood? Friends?, one of the most important details to pay attention to is their work place; not just a building, but their interactions with a few co-workers. This will let you know if they have their own source of income, or if you have been carefully chosen by a scammer in an attempt to extort your resources via ‘ Love scam’. Trust me, All of those things matter.

Observe their conversation, is it always about one subject?, let's say, "Love", if so remember that relationship topics should be about more than just love; therefore, the topic of conversations should not be how much they love you, as if on repeat mode. If this be the case, more than likely they're hiding something behind the words, "I love you".

Another important aspect to be mindful of is, if they need you to send them money, which is definitely a red flag. Most will give you sad stories of why this money is so essential for their survival. Don’t fall for the love bait. Their whole intention is to gain your trust, and have you emotionally attached to them, so they can play on your heartstrings for profit.

If at anytime you believe their love isn't sincere, that would be your moment to make a big decision to stay or walk away. Only you can make that decision. Be wise in all things…

Finding your love online is possible; it has been tried and proven to be true countless times. Go, get your love, they await your arrival.

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