Looking in the Wrong Direction

I know none of you know who I am, but it’s within strangers that you’ll find some of the most interesting stories. Here’s the story of how I found my soulmate.

Him and I were best friends, strictly friends, for four years prior to us dating. He was publicly gay, but I was a closeted bisexual. I never saw him as anything more than a friend. It’s funny, we met because he slid into my DMs to try to get with me. At the time I wasn’t interested, but later on that changed.

Eventually, I decided to move out of my parents house, but I couldn’t do it alone. His lease was up at his place so naturally I asked him, since he was my best friend, to be my roommate, in which he agreed.

At the time of this transition I was dating a girl. We were together for a year and a half at this point. We had a solid relationship. I loved her, but things slowly began to change. I was 18, she was 17, and still in school. I was working a lot and going to school, and she was upset that I was too busy for her most of the time. When I made time for her it wasn’t enough... I began to feel like I wasn’t enough.

My roommate always knew I was closeted, and when we moved in together it was getting harder to resist my temptations. Living with him made me see a different side of him, and a different side of myself.

I began to get confused; I was getting feelings for him, but still had feelings for her. I decided to cut it off with her, and when I told her it was because I was bisexual, and had to figure myself out she said “that’s fine, but I won’t wait for you.” It was in that moment I realized that she didn’t have to wait for me, but I also wasn’t going to wait for her.

The night I cut it off with her was the night my life changed forever. My roommate and I were watching movies together in his bed. We'd done this before, but tonight it was different. We both were falling head over heels for one another at this point. In the middle of the movie we just started kissing, and that kissing led to... other activities.

He’s the first person I ever gave myself to. Not only in a sexual way, but in an emotional way. Ever since then I fall more and more in love with him every day. He is my best friend still, but now he is my person. It’s crazy, I never thought a soulmate existed, but when you meet the right person you just know that if forever exists then it’s with that person.

We are almost two years strong now, and I wouldn’t want it any other way. Everything happens for a reason, and the best things wait for you when you step outside of your comfort zone. Love is scary, me coming out was scary, but it felt right. Don’t let your mind and self doubt distract you from the love your heart is trying to guide you towards.

If you’re feeling stuck, if you’re unhappy, just take a step back and look around, because sometimes you could be looking in the wrong direction, and what you need most could be right in front of you the whole time.