Lost and Found

It all started when I used to like you. To me, you were everything in my eyes and I imagined you being the right one for me. I also have dreams of you and I walking in the hallway together holding hands, carrying my books to class for me, and giving me a kiss everyday. Now, isn't that so sweet and so cute? In my mind, I think so and I just cannot keep your name out of my mouth. Day and night, I always think about you all the time.

While in school, I had the courage to come up to you and say "hello." Then you replied, "hello" and you smiled at me. You had my heart beating so fast, like an energizer bunny and I was blushing really bad that I just couldn't stop. When I got on the bus, you were sitting up front and so I decided to join you. You really didn't mind me sitting next to you and when I was sitting by you, we started talking and decided to start over again and get to know each other first. We talked about a lot of things and we laughed together when you said something that was very funny. When it was time to get off the bus, we gave each other a hug and said goodbye. I went home with butterflies dancing in my stomach and I was extremely happy, because you made my day a wonderful day.

Another day in school, we were walking together and getting so used to each other. We were always talking to each other and just having a good time together of just being friends. The next day, I decided to finally tell you that I like you and I wanted to be "more than friends" and you wasn't ready for the next level. The results turned out you didn't feel the same way about me. It's funny, because I let my guard down and let my feelings get the best of me thinking that you and I were meant to be and look how that got me feeling, self pity. To despair of me knowing that finally, I marked tears on my pillow, wrote suicide on my paper, feeling lonely and rejected by someone that I actually like.

On our Thanksgiving break, I decided to get over the fact that you declined me and I went forward by keeping a smile on my face, until I saw you outside. You came towards me and talked to me saying that you like me, but you didn't have any ways for you to explain it to me. You wanted to talk to me, personally, away from everybody, so we strayed off to the woods and there you gave me a kiss and I felt so special. I felt like I was your one and only, so then I gave myself away to you and forgot about everything that was surrounding us. I put you before my family and even myself, because I gave you all of me and I'm never the same person I used to be. My strength is gone and now I feel very weak, because you took everything and I let you.

After giving you my all, everything has began to change. You were being so mean to me and you had a stubborn attitude. You said those ugly words to me that you made me break down and cry again. I feel so ashamed, I did not listen to anyone, but myself, because I thought that I would have known what was best for me. I thought you were a nice guy who'll treat me right and respect me, but now I know the real you, your true colors, and the hate in your eyes. All I ever wanted from you is to love and respect me, is that too much to ask for?

There is depression and resentment left in my system. I went to school sad and lonely, came home even worse, and then I wrote suicide on my paper again. I attempt to take the easy and the cowardly way out of this life I'm living but then you came after you received my suicide message and saved me with the word “I'm sorry." I forgive you, but I cannot take you back for what you have done to me. Not only did you damaged me, but you damaged yourself as well. This is now my goodbye.

Five years later, we reunited when we saw each other at a store. You moved on and so did I, but we regret our past and it was the worst mistake we both made at that time when we were teenagers. We both learned form our past. What you learn was “when someone loves you and have done everything for you, you just don't take them for granted .” I learned that “You can't make somebody love you if they don't and they can't force their heart to something they're not feeling.” After all of this, you are history and now I found the strength to move on and be happy with me.