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Love never comes easily after heartache. Even when the right guy/girl comes along, you find yourself pushing him away, afraid to fall too deep and end up getting hurt all over again.
Falling in love and dealing with heartbreak are the same feelings and same intensities. You’re world rocks and spins, and all our insecurities resurface, making us feel vulnerable all over again. And I believe this is why we’re so afraid when love comes back around.
Something we all have to keep in mind is that every situation and partner is different, regardless the outcome. Each and every experience will make us stronger and prepare us for our futures.
We have to take the past relationships and grow from them. They’ll teach us something about ourselves and what we’re truly looking for in a partner. Turn the negative experiences into a positive and Mr/Mrs. Right will come along once our mindset is right.
You’re new flame will never make you forget your ex; they’ll always have a part of you. But, with moving on, you can’t hold the past against your future. And you can’t rush into something new! You need time to learn to love yourself and also figure out who you are alone, not who you were as someone’s girlfriend or boyfriend.
You’ll never successfully move on or have a successful relationship if you don’t know who you are and where your values lie. You can’t expect a man or woman to know what you want and what you like if you can’t answer those questions for yourself.
This can be especially tricky if there are children involved. Under these circumstances, you need to learn to love yourself and respect your ex for the sake of the children (depending on the situation).
This can be hard, especially watching your ex move on faster than you; however, the children don’t always understand the situation and they will react the way the parents react. Although step parents are the very last plan when you start a family, it’s important to continue to act as a family, you don’t want the children to feel torn between parents.
I know this from experience as my parents were divorced, and regardless of the relationships they had, we always made sure to have family get togethers and we spent Christmas all together. Even though my parents didn’t work as a couple, they were the best of friends for their children.
Love after heartache is a crazy adventure, but with the right person by your side and the proper mindset, it is possible.
And, as long as you let it in, it could be the most amazing experience of all. You’re new partner will open new doors and adventures.
Always keep in mind that trust is a two-way street—not just between your partner and yourself, but within yourself.
I personally just experienced a very bad breakup with someone I was with for seven years. And although I knew it was toxic, I stayed out of fear of the unknown. He became a habit and the thought of changing my habit or routine scared me. I talked myself out of leaving afraid that I wouldn’t know how to live on my own, and along the way, I lost myself. I felt no value in myself and I didn’t recognize the person staring back at me in the mirror.
I finally met a man who made me feel beautiful again and he reminded me of my worth. We just welcomed a beautiful son into the world and he makes it a point to remind me everyday what a great job I’m doing.
In conclusion, you may have to suffer through a few duds before you hit the jackpot.