Love After Sixty

Turning 60 was a huge milestone for me. I raised six children and also a few dozen that weren't mine. My house was always the gathering place for lost children and lost pets. Life was never quiet and never dull. Then one day, they were all gone.

I have been married three times. So cumulatively, I was married 35 years. Marriage number one lasted eight years. He was a lot more of a control freak than I could stand, and I moved directly into the next marriage after we got divorced.

Marriage number two lasted 15 years. He drank a lot more than I would have liked so I moved on directly into marriage number three. He was an artist and dreamer and as often comes with the territory, not necessarily very good at getting a job and making money to pay the bills.

But, through all of the marriages, there were children laughing and dogs barking and lots and lots of jobs required to keep both the children and the dogs happy and content.

When I was in my late-50s, after my third divorce, I decided to move back to Maine from Connecticut. I was born and raised in Connecticut, but husband number two was from Maine and four of my children still were in residence there. The other two were in Connecticut so I traveled back and forth quite frequently.

It was shortly after this last move that I met Don. We met on an online dating site and after a few long texts and phone conversations we decided to meet. We liked each other but it took a couple of years for us to adjust to each other's lifestyle.

After a series of strange events we found ourselves living together in a log house out in the boondocks of Maine. And, we are now both in our 60s.

This relationship is very different than any other relationship of which I have been a part. We are both semi retired and it is just us and the cat and the dog. So, consequently, we see each other a lot.

Our main topic of conversation is about our health. We both get up in the morning to a symphony of assorted creaks, cracks and groans. Going up and down the stairs now takes a whole lot longer, because it has to be carefully thought out and done with two feet on each step while holding tightly to the banisters.

Conversation is a challenge because we tend to forget what we are talking about in the middle of a sentence. Neither one of us remembers the topic. Plus, Don's hearing just isn't up to par. This might be due to his habit of listening to very loud music. He used to do it because it was cool. Now he does it because it is the only way he can hear it. I can have a whole conversation with him only to have him stare blankly at me at the end and say "Huh?"

Another one of our morning rituals is the taking of the pills. We have pills of every size and color that keep our bodies alive and running semi well. We remind each other to take our pills and try not to take one another's pills instead.

Exercise has become all about riding lawnmowers, walking to the mailbox and occasionally taking the dog for a walk through the pet store. I do know people my age who climb mountains. I am just not one of that sacred few.

Sex isn't a priority these days. It's more about companionship and having somewhere there in case you break a hip. Love has taken on a very different connotation than it had when I was younger.

The thing is... we are able to enjoy the sunsets and sunrises.. if we happen to be awake. We have a lot more time to nap. And travel is always an option if we ever really wanted to go anywhere besides home. We have, in essence become very childlike once again.

I love the quiet life. I do miss having the children and menagerie of assorted fur folks mingling about. But, I am content to have just a dog and a cat for company these days.

Don and I often sit on the picnic table in our yard in the evening, holding hands, and enjoying the change of seasons. There is no urgent need to take a child to a softball practice, change a diaper, or fend off a family crisis. It's just the two of us enjoying the present moment. Life beyond 60 becomes a series of present moments because each moment becomes a sacred gift to be savored and hopefully shared with someone you love.