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Love and Let Go: How Forgiveness Will Transform Your Relationship

For those who hurt, but want to make it work.

By Ambi AmbitionPublished 5 years ago 3 min read
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Love is blind. Love is unconditional. Love is many things. It sees no flaws, knows no limits, and is completely uncontrollable. We can paint a picture in our minds of who our ideal partner might be, but the moment you meet someone that gives you that head over heels rush, you're done for. Your perspective of who you might love is erased by who you actually love. The standards of opting to not date someone based on likes, dislikes, habits, hobbies, or job titles are all altered because of the way this person shines a light on your life whether it be the way they make you laugh or show they care. But what happens when this person who makes your world spin on its axis and who makes you feel like you could move mountains does something to you that feels as if the world has stopped, like suddenly those mountains are too heavy? What happens when the fairytale comes crashing down around you and you're left questioning what went wrong?

This isn't for those trapped in toxic, abusive situations, so if you're reading this, my advice to you is to get out. You're worth so much more. This is for anyone who is willing to choose love over pain through the power of forgiveness.

People look at forgiveness as weakness, like they're letting their partner's wrongdoing go without consequence, but in reality it's not your partner who wins, it's the situation and all the negativity that comes with it. It's not supposed to be you against your partner, it's you two against the situation.

Forgiveness frees you of anxious, negative thoughts as it leads to emotional healing. You're lifting a weight off your shoulders and filling your mind with hope, positivity, and compassion. It also brings a sense of trust to your relationship because once you work through the problem, you can finally let it go. There's no dark cloud of resentment lingering overhead. It's also better for your health, as it lowers stress, fatigue, and depression.

So where do you start?

Breathe.

The urge to fight is inevitable, but the willpower to not jump in there guns blazing and all is kind of essential. You have to take a moment to breathe so you can see the situation as a whole.

Why are you mad?

Top reasons couples fight: Communication. Intimacy. Money. Time. Jealousy...

Which one has your blood boiling?

Can the issue be resolved?

Notice how I listed communication there? I put it first because if you can't communicate properly, you're bound to fight about everything else. If you and your partner know how to talk about your problems and concerns, then any equation has a solution.

Change perspective.

You want them to hear you out. In return, you also need to listen to them. Whether you agree or disagree with their opinion, you need to step aside from your own thoughts and feelings and look at theirs. Only then will you really understand one another and be able to compromise with each other.

Accept your own mistakes.

No one walks this earth without making a wrong turn; our paths may differ but in the end we all have made mistakes. There is a beauty in being flawed. It teaches us. It changes us. Even at our worst, we grow. Look at some of the biggest mistakes you've made, feel the emotions from them, and realize that's exactly how your partner feels about their own mess ups. You're not perfect, neither are they. That's life.

Does the situation outweigh your love?

If you let fear guide you into begrudging your lover, you're letting the situation win. You choose to live in the past instead of creating a better future. You chain yourself to this one moment of pain and forfeit future happiness with the person you love. You lose them. Is that what you want? Or do you want to conquer this with them and say you made it?

advice
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About the Creator

Ambi Ambition

Advice, motivation, and ambition with a side of poetry to guide you through love and life.

Follow my movement on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram #ambiambition

10% of tips will be donated to Mental Health America (:

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